Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 15:18, This Hinders Prayer

by Marilynn Chadwick

“A hot-tempered person stirs up strife, but one who is slow to anger calms a quarrel.”

Proverbs 15:18 TLV

Faith in Jesus is serious business. But God’s Word also calls us to a type of “faith” in each other as members of the body of Christ. Scripture warns us that to “break faith” with one another can greatly impede our prayers.

Ancient Israel had broken faith with each other and then cried out to God, wondering why he was displeased with them. The prophet Malachi accuses them of covering God’s altar with “tears, with weeping and with sighing, because he no longer looks at the offering or receives your gift with favor” (Malachi 2:13 CJB). “Don’t we all have the same father?” he continues. “Didn’t one God create us all? Then why do we break faith with each other, profaning the covenant of our ancestors?” (Malachi 2:10).

Next, Malachi addresses their marriages: “The Lord is witness between you and the wife of your youth that you have broken faith with her, though she is your companion, your wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:13, 14 CJB). Breaking faith is serious business in God’s eyes. “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel...” (Malachi 2:16 NIV 1984).

Peter seizes upon this connection between marital harmony and answered prayer, exhorting believing husbands and wives to treat each other in a godly way as “heirs together of the gracious gift of life” (1 Peter 3:7 NIV). “Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7). Enkopt, translated “hinder,” comes from the idea of cutting or striking. It conveys a strong interruption or stoppage. Marital strife can literally derail answered prayer.

Malachi gives us a practical prescription to protect both our marriages and our relationships with fellow believers: “So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth” (Malachi 2:15b NIV 1984).

And again, regarding fellow believers, he says, “So guard yourself and do not break faith” (v. 16b). The word translated “guard” means “to keep, preserve, protect; to keep watch.” Let’s be mindful and prayerful, therefore, to guard against strife in our marriages, our families, and our church family. I wonder if we’d keep a closer watch on ourselves if we truly believed that strife hinders prayer.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 4:25-26, Fight Forward

by Marilynn Chadwick

"Let your eyes look forward; fix your gaze straight ahead. Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established."

Proverbs 4:25-26 CSB

The book of Proverbs is filled with tips on how to persevere as we pursue a dream or fight through a trial. James, sometimes called “The Proverbs of the New Testament,” gives us similar encouragement: "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life" (James 1:12 ESV).

But let’s face it. Waiting is hard! "How do I hold onto my hopes and dreams when God seems silent?" This question came from a sincere follower of Christ. How do we handle those times when we have prayed and prayed, but the answer is so slow in coming? Perhaps we sense that a particular dream is God's plan for us. But the days, weeks, months, and even years go by. How do we keep our dream alive? How do we learn to wait well?

I think back to what I refer to as my season of "wait training." In our early years of marriage, David and I looked forward to the day we would have children. But nothing happened, month after month. Months became years, and by the end of the fourth year, waiting had become a way of life. I hovered between my dream of having a child and the dailiness of living life well in the moment. But I wanted my life to count, even while I waited.

I decided to get my master’s degree in counseling and spent time working in vulnerable communities. I later worked at a Crisis Pregnancy Center with young women caught in problem pregnancies. An infertile woman trying to have a baby caring for women who didn’t want to be pregnant? It was an odd assignment, but strangely healing. I used to remark that I was like a recovering alcoholic serving drinks at a bar—surrounded by that which I could not have.

During this time, a door was opened for David and me to go on a short-term missions trip. My first trip to Africa would be our first of many short-term missions experiences. Even after our children finally came, this lesson remained etched in my mind: When you are hurting, fight forward.

We eventually partnered with organizations delivering aid, education, and hope on six continents. Some say we should live to give. I discovered that I could give to live.

I would sometimes pray, “Lord, I’m entrusting my business into your hands. While you are caring for my business, I will put my hands to work on your business.” Even today, fighting forward never fails to fill and heal my own soul as I give hope to someone else.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 31:8-9, A Voice for the Voiceless

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

Proverbs 31:8-9 NIV

“The Sayings of King Lemuel” is how some Bible translations refer to the famed 31st chapter of Proverbs. Scripture calls the words an “oracle” taught to the king by his mother. She begins by referring to her son as an answer to her prayer.

“Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!” (Proverbs 31:2b NIV). She goes on to teach him important life lessons about the kind of king he should be and dangers to avoid. We catch a glimpse into the heart of this mother who had prayed for her son and devoted him to the Lord. Let’s look closer at the teachings that were foremost in her mind as she trained this son who would be king (Proverbs 31:1-9).

Like any good mother, she warned him about the dangers of immoral women and overindulgence in alcohol. But her cautions appear to have had more to do with his calling as king rather than mere morality.

For example, she warns him that loose women “ruin kings” and drinking can cause a king to forget laws and deprive the oppressed of their rights. She challenges her son to use his power to help the broken, “[speaking] up for those who cannot speak for themselves” and “[defending] the rights of the poor and needy” (Proverbs 31:3, 5, 8-9).

Clearly the queen mother saw the potential dangers of royalty. She demonstrated her foremost concern that he would be a just and kind ruler to the poor.

If King Lemuel’s mother prayed for this son before he was born and during his lifetime, surely, she also prayed for his wife. So, the description of the Proverbs 31 “woman of valor” (Proverbs 31:10-31) could easily reflect the heart’s desire of a mother as she prays for her son’s future wife. This makes her instructions about seeking a woman of valor all the more meaningful.

And isn’t this the prayer for every mother of sons? That he would be kind and just, a voice for the voiceless, a defender of the weak. That he would find a godly and noble wife? I’d like to think these verses not only represent a mother’s specific hopes for the kind of woman her son would marry, but also the kind of woman her own daughters would one day become.

We can learn a few tips from the Queen Mother in Proverbs 31 on how to pray for our sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters.