Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 16:8, A Common but Dangerous Sin

by Marilynn Chadwick

“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”

Proverbs 16:8 NIV

The Bible mentions gossip and its related behaviors, such as slander, backbiting, and whispering, over 150 times. The sin of gossip is often mentioned alongside more seemingly serious sins, like theft or murder. “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy” (Romans 1:29-32 NIV).

Gossip is pretty serious stuff. The book of Proverbs paints a picture of the dire consequences of gossip and gives ample warnings to avoid its sting: “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:13 NIV).

At its core, gossip is simply another lust of the flesh. And like any lust, gossip can seem temporarily satisfying. “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts” (Proverbs 18:8).

The New Testament strongly warns us about the dangers of gossip. It’s as if gossip is an appetite all its own. "But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another!" (Galatians 5:15 NKJV). This passage is addressed to Christ followers and warns against destructive conflict, gossip, and strife within the church. The solution is found in Galatians 5:16: “Walk in the Spirit and you will not obey the lusts of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16 NIV).

When we follow Jesus, we have the indwelling Holy Spirit. Living by the Holy Spirit’s guidance, or “walking in the Spirit," enables us to overcome sinful, fleshly desires, like the temptation to gossip, rather than giving in to them. This requires continual abiding in Christ and trusting his power within us, rather than simply fighting the temptation through sheer willpower. Remember, the flesh and spirit continually war against one another (Galatians 5:16-17).

When it comes to the sin of gossip, it pays to be alert. To realize temptation can come disguised as a “prayer request” or “verbal processing” with a friend. Walk in the Spirit daily. Keep up your guard. Be alert to the devil’s methods. Don’t use your freedom to “indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:14).

Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Replace gossip with something stronger. Pray. Try fasting from gossip. Take it to the cross. Find accountability with a fellow believer. And remember, love covers a multitude of sins.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 31:25, Dress for Success

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Strength and honor are her clothing.”

Proverbs 31:25 CSB

The woman of valor in Proverbs 31:10 (CJB) is also described as a woman of “honor” (v. 25). Throughout the Bible, valor and honor go hand in hand. David's Mighty Men of Valor were an elite group of roughly 37 warriors in the Old Testament (2 Samuel 23, 1 Chronicles 11). They were renowned for exceptional loyalty, strength, valor, and honor.

To honor someone is to treat them with admiration or respect. Honor conveys dignity, honesty, and integrity. Years ago, I wrote an editorial in our local newspaper honoring my husband’s legendary basketball coach, Dean Smith, at his passing. Along with great basketball, Coach Smith taught David about honor. Responses to my article, some from well-known leaders in our community, caused me to wonder if our culture is thirsty for honor. Perhaps it’s because honor is sorely lacking in many of our homes. Marriages are breaking up at an alarming rate. Sadly, the percentage of wives leaving their husbands has risen significantly.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that honoring my husband in today’s culture requires something of a fight. It helps to realize that we have an enemy. Not just of our soul, but also of our marriages. In addition to waging a war with the devil, our battle for a strong marriage is also against our own selfish tendencies. Honoring our husband or wife sometimes goes against the grain of our flesh.

If we truly want to honor our spouse, we’ll find ourselves resisting a world that degrades and disrespects marriage. I’ve learned I can best fight for my husband and honor our marriage most powerfully by interceding for him in prayer. The tone we set in our homes when we honor our husband or wife inspires our children to honor their parents and each other.

It feels good to get respect. To be honored. But it also feels incredibly good to honor someone else. We find that as we give honor, we get it back. But giving honor, especially in a world that has largely forgotten this concept, doesn’t come easy. It takes practice. David and I have written companion books exploring ways this lost art of honor can be reclaimed in our marriages, our families, and our culture.

I believe our world today is thirsty for honor. Honor requires self-sacrifice and humility. I’ve learned that home can be a wonderful laboratory for cultivating honor. My hope is that the culture of honor we create will spill over into the culture around us.

Click here to download a free copy of 8 Great Ways to Honor your Wife by David Chawick and 8 Great Ways to Honor Husband by Marilynn Chadwick.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 10:5, This Book is Alive

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Every word of God is flawless.”

Proverbs 30:5a NIV

I was around fifteen when I concluded God did not exist. I was not angry or rebellious. I simply no longer believed God was real. I had grown up in the church, attending Sunday School and Vacation Bible Schools. I was “confirmed” as a twelve-year-old. I even went on a couple of high school retreats. But over the years, I gradually stopped believing, and by college, I had stopped going to church altogether. I would occasionally attend our family’s church out of respect for my parents when I was home from college. Out of curiosity one day, I picked up the Bible to try and read a few words. Nothing made sense. From then on, I saw the Bible as nothing more than a “dead book.”

I had a dramatic encounter with Jesus as a 21-year-old college student while reading C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity. I accepted him as my Savior and have never looked back. Suddenly, when I began to read the Bible, it was as if words jumped off the page. They were true, and they were speaking directly to me. This book is alive!

I began to seek the Lord wholeheartedly, engaging in Bible studies and learning from Christian mentors. One thing became clear: God’s Word is the truth and every word in the Bible is true. Or as Proverbs 30:5 puts it, “Every word of God is flawless.” Other versions say “tried,” “tested,” or “pure.”

A friend wisely encouraged me. You can’t believe one part of Scripture but throw out the parts you don’t like. If you do that, you’ll never be able to confidently stand on God’s promises when you need them.

I began to lead a group of young wives in a Bible study, all recent college graduates like me. They knew even less about the Bible than I did but were eager to learn. “Hey girls,” I said, “it says we are supposed to tithe, so let’s do it!” Or “the Bible tells us to respect our husbands as spiritual leaders of our home.” “Well, if the Bible says it,” they chimed in, “let’s do it.”

Thus began a life-changing Bible journey. I’ve learned firsthand Paul got it right when he instructed young Timothy: “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

Friend, it takes time to become “fluent” in Scripture. But let’s remember, once we accept Jesus, we have the Holy Spirit as our indwelling teacher who promises to make all things clear (1 John 2:27).