How to Honor Your Husband: Fight for Him

by Marilynn Chadwick

I’ve discovered that honoring my husband in today’s culture requires something of a fight. It helps to realize that we have an enemy. Not just of our soul, but also of our marriages. In addition to waging a war with the devil, our battle for a strong marriage is also a battle against our own selfish tendencies.

Honoring our husbands sometimes goes against the grain of our flesh. If we truly want to honor our husbands, we’ll find ourselves resisting a world that degrades and disrespects marriage.

I’ve learned I can best fight for my husband and honor our marriage most powerfully by interceding for him in prayer. I believe deep within the heart of every good woman lives a warrior. Her fierce love can make even the most timid woman do courageous things. Maybe you’ve learned what it means to fight for someone you love.

My friend Ange is from Rwanda. Gentle and soft-spoken, Ange is a shining example of a woman who honored her husband by fighting for him.

Ange was in high school when the horrific Rwandan genocide broke out in 1994. She and Emanuel fled on foot. Soldiers attacked their refugee camp. Ange and Emanuel got separated as they ran for their lives. She searched frantically for him, hiding in the forest with no clean water, food, or shelter.

Ange made her way to Kenya. She looked everywhere for Emanuel. Eventually she enrolled in Bible college while she continued her search. For eight years! Even her closest friends tried to persuade Ange to accept that Emanuel was dead—and to remarry.

But Ange sensed the Holy Spirit was whispering to keep on fighting and to believe that Emanuel was still alive. Her lifeline became, “We rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us” (Romans 5:3-5 NIV).

While listening to a radio program which helped find missing family members after the war, she heard the amazing news that Emanuel was alive. “It was like a dream!” she exclaimed. “I stayed up all night praising and thanking God!” After eight long years, Ange and Emanuel were finally reunited—all because of a wife who kept fighting for her husband.

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Husband: Build Him Up

by Marilynn Chadwick

Showing respect is vital to any healthy marriage. But when it comes to honoring our husbands, it helps to understand that no two marriages or men are exactly alike. Words and actions which make David feel honored and respected might go right over the head of your husband.

I can choose to build up my husband or break him down with the words I speak to and about him. I also encourage David’s leadership of our family through my words. For example, the words I speak to our children influence what they think about their dad. Same with outsiders. Careless words can tarnish his reputation in the eyes of others. Proverbs 14:1 reminds us that a wise woman “builds her house,” but a foolish one “tears it down.” As wives, we sometimes forget the weight our words carry. The Bible has much to say about the power of our words.

I have been inspired by what the Bible teaches us about honor. As a result, I’m trying to be more intentional about showing honor to David. However, I’ve come face to face with an important realization: Honor demands far more from me than simply submission.

I fully appreciate submission in marriage as part of the biblical framework of love and respect (Ephesians 5:22). But to truly honor my husband, I have to set the bar much higher than submission. Honor requires self-sacrifice. Humility. It challenges me to bridle not just my words, but also my thoughts. It makes me bite my tongue. Honor confronts me with my sin.

Honor, even more than submission, is an imposing benchmark and a sublimely powerful target. For if I take aim and hit the bullseye of honor, I am probably covering all the other virtues that make for a strong marriage.

So in this way, honor conforms me to the image of Christ. In short, honor requires a strong walk with the Lord. I guess you could say that to truly honor my husband, I must first become honorable.

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Husband: Believe the Best

by Marilynn Chadwick

Over the years, I’ve discovered that honoring my husband begins in my mind. What I think about David determines whether my words and actions will honor him. Turns out there’s some research to back up this observation. Author and longtime Gallup poll associate Marcus Buckingham surveyed thousands of married couples to discover the traits at the core of good marriages. He found something intriguing. The common thread running through happy marriages was this: In the most successful marriages, each partner rated the other person higher than that person rated him or herself.

Buckingham’s findings, emerging from volumes of data, got me to thinking. As a wife, it’s important for me to value and respect David, believing in him even more than he believes in himself. I realized in that moment that I can choose how I think about my husband.

Do I respect him? Appreciate him? Focus on his strengths and downplay his weaknesses? Do I take time to reflect on the many ways he sacrifices for our family? Am I there for him to support and strengthen him, especially when he feels weak? Do I believe the best about him? In short, am I thankful for him?

Honor may be best expressed through words and deeds, but it begins in the mind. It greatly matters what we think about our husbands. What I think about David determines whether my words and actions will honor him. What we believe about our husbands can make or break our marriages.

Over the years, I’ve noticed a common theme in the marriages I’ve grown to admire. The spouses seem to be intentional about interpreting each other in a positive light. The wives speak about their husbands with respect. The husbands find ways to honor their wives. It’s clear they treasure and appreciate their partner. In short, they believe the best about each other, and it shows.

God’s word is filled with encouragement to honor our husbands, wives, and even families. Why not begin to explore practical ways to act this out on a daily basis.

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!