Our Favorite Proverbs: Wine Not? Proverbs 20:1

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.”

Proverbs 20:1

A good friend once noticed I didn’t order wine at a meal. She asked me whether I ever drank alcohol. Interesting question for a pastor’s wife and one I’ve been asked before. Back in the seventies I attended a large Southern university. I was active in sorority and fraternity life. I attended my share of parties and had occasions to drink. In those days, I didn't even believe in God. So, I obviously didn't look to him for guidance about behaviors like drinking.

But near the end of college, I had a radical conversion to Christ while reading Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis, the famous Oxford scholar and former atheist himself. Everything changed. Soon after, I met and married my husband, David.

We will soon celebrate 48 years of marriage. Over the years in ministry together, we have both come to the conclusion that it’s better that we do not drink in public, so as not to put a stumbling block in front of someone who may struggle with alcohol.

It’s not that moderate drinking is immoral. Or even wrong. But here’s the thing: I want to be alert to hear God’s voice. I know this might sound silly. But I want to remain mindful of those little nudges to pray for someone. Aware of the Holy Spirit's guidance, or conviction, or instruction. I especially want to hear his whisper—that still small voice that’s so easy to miss.

I find even one glass of wine can dull my “spiritual hearing." Moreover, the Bible tells me that as a believer in Jesus, I have an enemy. He continually prowls around looking for someone to devour. As long as I live on earth, I’m at war. It was George Washington who once said, “To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace.”

One of the best ways to prepare for our spiritual war is to remain alert to the wiles of the enemy. The Bible says it this way: "Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8 AMP).

I want to win my spiritual battles. To hear what the Lord wants to reveal. In short, I want to stay fully awake. For me, I’ve come to believe it’s not wise to use wine as my method to deal with worry, stress, or anxiety. For those, I think I'll choose to be "filled with the Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18).

Our Favorite Proverbs: The Secret is the Guard, Proverbs 13:3

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”

Proverbs 13:3

I have a friend who raised five amazing boys. All her sons were excellent football players, receiving scholarships to play in various colleges around the country. She also happened to be a real prayer warrior—probably a requirement for raising all those strong sons. She used to remind me that just like in football, the secret to winning in spiritual warfare is the “guard.”

The Bible takes the importance of “guarding” very seriously. In various places, the book of Proverbs reminds us to guard our words, our thoughts, and even our manner of daily living. It gives clues as to the root of strife, which it tells us is often driven by pride (Proverbs 13:10). Proverbs strongly warns us to guard our temper and our words—which usually go hand in hand with outbursts of temper:

• “A hot-tempered person stirs up strife, but one who is slow to anger quiets contention” (Proverbs 15:18 NIV).

  
  

• “When words are many, sin is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is wise" (Proverbs 10:19).

  
  

• "Where there is no wood, the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases" (Proverbs 26:20).

In summary, the book of Proverbs teaches us that true strength is found in controlling our own spirit rather than winning an argument (Proverbs 16:32). I’m especially drawn to this convicting piece of wisdom: “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling." (Proverbs 20:3).

When we let our guard down and say things that are disrespectful, hurtful, and demeaning, we damage our relationships and open the door to strife. And you can be sure that wherever you find strife, you’ll find many other kinds of evil (James 3:16).

I guess my friend got it right. She truly discovered the key to good football and to winning our spiritual battles. The secret is the guard!

Our Favorite Proverbs: Laughing at our Fears, Proverbs 31:25

by Marilynn Chadwick

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

Proverbs 31:25

One of the things I love most about my husband David is the way he would always encourage our three children to laugh at the very things they were afraid of. He referred to their fears as “fret flies.” He used to say that fear and worry attract the devil, just like honey attracts flies. I’ve never forgotten those words.

I’ve always been glad David is not a worrier. But that doesn’t mean he’s unaware of danger. He just doesn’t overthink imaginary scenarios. What’s more, he doesn’t spend needless energy looking back at the “if onlys” or ahead to the “what ifs” of life.

Like any pastor, he’s had to deal with all kinds of tragedies and emergencies throughout our years of ministry. But I’ve seen firsthand how his faith has strengthened him. I’ve often told him that the greatest gift he has to give others is his faith. And sometimes his laughter! When our daughter was very young, she struggled with various troubling fears. I leaned into David’s strengths to help her learn to overcome these early fears by finding ways to laugh.

One evening, our family went to an amusement park. She was especially scared of riding the Ferris wheel. David challenged her to conquer her fear and told her he would ride with her. With Daddy cheering her on, she was overjoyed to finally defeat another “fret fly!”

Every time she would defeat another fear, her courage muscles would grow stronger and stronger. Eventually, she became my child who would fly all over the world by herself and fearlessly tackle all sorts of challenges.

If you are a parent, I would encourage you to be careful about coddling your children’s fears. The Bible tells us not to fear over and over again. This is a discipline that must be developed from a young age. Like learning to walk or learning to ride a bike, we all must learn to conquer fear.

David really is right. It is incredibly liberating to laugh in the face of fear. Laughter is a healthy way to lighten up. I wonder if the secret to having such strong faith in the Lord is that we really can laugh at our fears. Like our young daughter battling her fears, we may discover greater joy than we ever thought possible when we conquer our “fret flies!”