Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 6:10-11, The Value of Hard Work

by Marilynn Chadwick

“A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.”

Proverbs 6:10-11 NIV

I am not a naturally self-disciplined person. But I discovered early on that it was impossible for me to take the kids beyond where I had gone myself. If I was undisciplined, it was hard to discipline the children. If my schedule was inconsistent, it was hard to help them follow a schedule. If I quit before I reached the finish line, it was hard to teach our children to persevere.

When an airplane loses cabin pressure, we’re told to administer oxygen to ourselves before we give it to our child. There are some lessons we have to “administer to ourselves” before we can teach them to our children. Hard work is one of those.

We encouraged our children to see all work as honorable—whether it was waiting on tables, doing weekly chores, or even folding laundry. Sometimes I would point out those who appeared to be “working with all their heart,” like the guy who loaded up our groceries with an especially cheerful attitude. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for man” (Col. 3:23).

Hard work is vastly underrated in today’s culture. I’m all for talking about the importance of big dreams. I love dreaming big, and I was passionate about helping our children reach their dreams. But without plenty of hard work, they remain just dreams. I once heard a quote that still is with me. “Insights are beautiful castles, but you can’t live in them.”

Proverbs 14:23 puts it this way: "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." God’s Word is immensely practical as well as spiritual. These verses in Proverbs highlight the necessity of action over merely words. Disciplined effort results in gain, while constantly dreaming, and even talking, about our plans—without executing them—results in unfulfilled potential and a lackluster life.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 1:10, Choose Your Companions Wisely

by Marilynn Chadwick

“My child, sinners will try to lead you into sin. But do not follow them.”

Proverbs 1:10 ICB

Proverbs warns about the danger of bad companions. We were careful with our children and who they chose as friends. We made the decision to send our children to secular schools, knowing they would be surrounded by a variety of kids. But a troubled kid was always welcome in our home. Sometimes, even a problem child, when surrounded by a healthy home environment, could make great progress.

The phrase "Bad company corrupts good character" is a famous quote from 1 Corinthians 15:33. It warns that close association with foolish peers can negatively influence one's own morals and behavior.

However, there was one category of friend that caused us to provide more boundaries of protection. These I would call the “dream killers.” David and I have been more intentional about protecting our children from dream killers than we have from more obvious misbehavior. Children can be taught to recognize the dangers of drinking or drugs. But they may not always see the subtlety of a dream killer.

Dream killers can come in the form of peers or even adults at times. This is sometimes called “the crab pot syndrome.” This means when one crab tries to crawl out of a pot, the others will pull him back down. We’ve seen this syndrome play out time and again.

Not everyone sees our child’s dream or supports that dream. That’s why we prayed fervently for God to guard our children’s friendships. We prayed the Lord would use those friends to encourage each other to draw our children close to him and then to open doors for their calling to make an impact for Christ on this broken and hurting world. Let us consider [thoughtfully] how we may encourage one another to love and to do good deeds (Hebrews 10:24 AMP).

Every dreamer needs a team. Consider ways to build a good team around your child. Bring teachers, grandparents, coaches, and church leaders into your circle of friends. They can be some of your biggest allies in helping your children reach their dreams.

I supported our children’s teachers and coaches and volunteered whenever possible. Coming from a family of educators, I deeply admired the many adults who poured their lives into our children. I prayed for them, encouraged them, even befriended them.

But there were times when I had to go to bat for our children. On a couple of occasions, I asked a teacher or coach to consider giving a second chance or a harder challenge to one of our children. In each case, I knew the child was ready. And in each case, the teacher or coach agreed, so I was glad I spoke up. Prayer partners are also key, along with the parents of your children’s friends. It really does take a village.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 3:11-12, Love and Limits

by Marilynn Chadwick

“My son do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”

Proverbs 3:11-12 NIV

Children are generally asking two questions: “Do you love me?” and “Can I have my own way?” They seem to thrive on love and limits. So as parents we would say, “Yes, I love you, and “No, you can’t always have your own way.”

Focused attention, eye contact, lots of snuggles, a listening ear. There are many ways to say I love you. Unconditional love is a vital ingredient of a healthy home. But limits are important too. Limits provide a sense of security.

Here’s a little secret: If it’s necessary to correct your children, give them consequences that are actually beneficial to them. For example, an early bedtime, cleaning the bathroom, finishing a book instead of watching television, doing 50 jumping jacks to get the wiggles out. You get the point.

I also learned as the kids reached middle school to go easier on eye contact. Don’t bear down too hard in serious conversations. That’s probably why our best talks—especially the hard ones—happened while driving in the car. They’d tell me most anything I wanted to know if I didn’t intrude. Conversations in the van often turned into spiritual life lessons—I dubbed our drive time “e-van-gelism.”

Faith is both caught and taught. I encouraged our kids to be on the lookout for signs of God at work—in big ways and small ones. We dared our kids to dream big and trust God with the results. But mostly, I wanted them to be able to hear God for themselves—to discern his voice from all the others. They didn’t know it, but I continually watched to see if they were shaping their views according to what they were learning at home or what the world was telling them.

It really doesn’t matter where I travel. It’s the same in any culture—rich or poor. We can never underestimate the power of a strong and loving home. Home is where humans thrive and grow best. It’s where children should be nurtured. Instructed. Protected. It’s where they catch the faith. And where they’re free to dream. Especially when the home is built on the solid rock of faith in Jesus Christ.

When a home is filled with the grace of unconditional love and the framework of strong limits, and when parents seek the Lord with all their whole heart, a home can produce children who are likely to change the world.