Kindness Under Fire: Showing Kindness to Ourselves

by Marilynn Chadwick

I still marvel when I think about how God gave women the added privilege of being life-givers and co-creators of the entire human race. Eve was the first woman. Her name literally means “mother of all the living” (Genesis 3:20). I love Eve’s response after giving birth to the first human ever born to a woman: “Look, I have created a new human, with the help of the Eternal” (Genesis 4:1 VOICE). Another translation puts it this way: “I produced a man” (Gen 4:1 TLV).

We’re not only able to bear children, but also to nurture them. What’s more, we have the ability to nurture others who are not necessarily our own children. We see that played out in the life of Deborah, the prophet, judge, and “mother in Israel” (Judges 5:7). Throughout Scripture, we find examples of this beautiful nurturer and warrior combination that God has mysteriously woven into the heart of a woman.

But the Bible warns us of the “enmity,” or hostility, between Satan and the woman after the Fall (Genesis 3:15). It makes sense, then, that the devil would try to lure the woman away from God’s original design, twisting her ezer strength into a rock—not of support, but of hardness. Distorting her courage into brazen ambition. And if he can derail her nurturer side—killing the kindness in a woman’s heart—he will have unleashed a creature who is destructive to her family, to the culture around her, and ultimately to herself.

The hostility between Satan and women has played out again and again on the stage of human history. Wherever we see women being mistreated, we can be sure the devil is lurking behind the scenes, manipulating others to cause women harm.

In the past, and even today in some parts of the world, women have been regarded as property, beasts of burden, or worse, as slaves. They’ve been caricatured as weak, overly emotional, or unintelligent. Beaten down, ignored, and oppressed, women are vulnerable to the same tactics the enemy has used for centuries. And when the devil can’t get someone else to oppress the woman, he downloads lies that destroy her from within.

This disarms her ability to nurture others. When a woman believes the enemy’s lies, not only are those around her at risk, but she will eventually harm her own soul. That’s why kindness begins when we first receive the kindness of God for ourselves. Only then do we have kindness to share with those around us.

That’s why it’s vital that women learn to balance our nurturer and warrior roles. When we do that, the people around us flourish.

Our Kindness Under Fire series is adapted from Woman of Valor by Marilynn Chadwick. Click here for more inspiration or to order a copy of Woman of Valor.

Kindness Under Fire: She Teaches with Kindness

by Marilynn Chadwick

A woman of valor who can find?...The teaching of kindness is on her tongue (Proverbs 31:10,26 JPS).

Disney got it right. The scariest villains are often women. Think about it. Cinderella’s wicked stepmother overworked the poor girl and locked her in an attic before she was finally rescued by her handsome prince. The evil Maleficent cast her jealous spell on Sleeping Beauty. Snow White battled a wicked queen who was envious of her beauty. And don’t forget Cruella De Vil [cruel devil] who kidnapped an entire litter of Dalmatian puppies, intending to use their fur to make into coats.

Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, whose famed fairy tales actually had to be sanitized before they were suitable for children, were said to have portrayed a few mothers as villains. But the public outcry against mothers mistreating their own children forced the Grimm brothers to recast the mothers as evil stepmothers instead.

When I was a small child, the wicked woman that terrified me most—hands down—was the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. Years later, I can still hear that green-faced, old witch cackling, “My Little Pretty” as she taunts her captive, Dorothy.

A woman devoid of what Shakespeare called “the milk of human kindness” is a fearsome creature—especially to a child. Maybe that’s because as children, we instinctively open our hearts to women. From birth, we’re trained to look to our mothers for nurture and protection.

Kindness is central to the Proverbs 31 “virtuous women,” better translated, “woman of valor.” “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26 ESV). A woman of valor is not only kind; she “teaches others to be kind” (verse 26 ICB).

The simple dictionary definition of kindness points to words such as “gentle or considerate.” But the Bible gives kindness a much stronger meaning. Kindness is listed among the fruit of the Holy Spirit that are present in the life of a believer (Galatians 5:22). The Greek word chrestos, translated “kindness,” is described as a “grace that pervades one’s whole nature” and is the opposite of harshness or severity. Christ’s yoke, or what he asks us to do, is chrestos, having nothing harsh or galling about it (Matthew 11:30).

Looking at the full portrait of the Proverbs 31 woman, we see that her kindness only adds to her strength. She is both leader and teacher. She speaks words of wise instruction to her family and others. But her leadership is always wrapped in kindness.

God created women to be strong and kind—part warrior and part nurturer. From Creation, he designed the woman to be the helper, or ezer—a source of rock-like support for her husband (Genesis 2:18). God equipped us with courage and strength. But he has added to that strength by making us capable of being kind and sharing that kindness with those around us.

Our Kindness Under Fire series is adapted from Woman of Valor by Marilynn Chadwick. Click here for more inspiration or to order a copy of Woman of Valor.

A Missing in Action Word for Christians: Living Out Kindness

by David Chadwick

Kindness. It is a word that our modern society seems to undervalue and it is a “missing in action” concept in the Christian world.

This week, my exhortation has been to reclaim kindness.

We have talked about remembering how important kindness is, we have talked about how to reclaim it, how to increase a life of kindness and show it to others.

Today, I want to call all of us to action to live out kindness from this moment forward.

Kindness does not come naturally. It has to be remembered, reclaimed, increased, demonstrated to all, and lived out every day.

Unfortunately, in this broken world, human nature is driven to take care of ourselves first and sometimes no one else at all. Some of us will expand care beyond ourselves and into our family, but the majority of natural instinct is to take care of self and to self-protect.

But when Jesus invades a heart, kindness MUST follow. After all, it is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22).  It may be as simple as this truth: Grow closer to Jesus and more kindness will flow in and through you.

Jesus is the epitome of kindness and displayed it throughout his life here on earth. He always saw people through the eyes of kindness knowing they were like sheep without a shepherd. When we encounter the love and kindness of Jesus, it must flow through us to others.

To whom do you need to show kindness today? Someone in your family? Maybe it’s to a friend? Someone in your workplace? Maybe even to an enemy?

As we wrap up, I would challenge you with this question: If kindness is not in your life as a follower of Jesus, can you honestly say that your life is in him?