Our Favorite Proverbs: The Secret is the Guard, Proverbs 13:3

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”

Proverbs 13:3

I have a friend who raised five amazing boys. All her sons were excellent football players, receiving scholarships to play in various colleges around the country. She also happened to be a real prayer warrior—probably a requirement for raising all those strong sons. She used to remind me that just like in football, the secret to winning in spiritual warfare is the “guard.”

The Bible takes the importance of “guarding” very seriously. In various places, the book of Proverbs reminds us to guard our words, our thoughts, and even our manner of daily living. It gives clues as to the root of strife, which it tells us is often driven by pride (Proverbs 13:10). Proverbs strongly warns us to guard our temper and our words—which usually go hand in hand with outbursts of temper:

• “A hot-tempered person stirs up strife, but one who is slow to anger quiets contention” (Proverbs 15:18 NIV).

  
  

• “When words are many, sin is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is wise" (Proverbs 10:19).

  
  

• "Where there is no wood, the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases" (Proverbs 26:20).

In summary, the book of Proverbs teaches us that true strength is found in controlling our own spirit rather than winning an argument (Proverbs 16:32). I’m especially drawn to this convicting piece of wisdom: “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling." (Proverbs 20:3).

When we let our guard down and say things that are disrespectful, hurtful, and demeaning, we damage our relationships and open the door to strife. And you can be sure that wherever you find strife, you’ll find many other kinds of evil (James 3:16).

I guess my friend got it right. She truly discovered the key to good football and to winning our spiritual battles. The secret is the guard!

Our Favorite Proverbs: Laughing at our Fears, Proverbs 31:25

by Marilynn Chadwick

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

Proverbs 31:25

One of the things I love most about my husband David is the way he would always encourage our three children to laugh at the very things they were afraid of. He referred to their fears as “fret flies.” He used to say that fear and worry attract the devil, just like honey attracts flies. I’ve never forgotten those words.

I’ve always been glad David is not a worrier. But that doesn’t mean he’s unaware of danger. He just doesn’t overthink imaginary scenarios. What’s more, he doesn’t spend needless energy looking back at the “if onlys” or ahead to the “what ifs” of life.

Like any pastor, he’s had to deal with all kinds of tragedies and emergencies throughout our years of ministry. But I’ve seen firsthand how his faith has strengthened him. I’ve often told him that the greatest gift he has to give others is his faith. And sometimes his laughter! When our daughter was very young, she struggled with various troubling fears. I leaned into David’s strengths to help her learn to overcome these early fears by finding ways to laugh.

One evening, our family went to an amusement park. She was especially scared of riding the Ferris wheel. David challenged her to conquer her fear and told her he would ride with her. With Daddy cheering her on, she was overjoyed to finally defeat another “fret fly!”

Every time she would defeat another fear, her courage muscles would grow stronger and stronger. Eventually, she became my child who would fly all over the world by herself and fearlessly tackle all sorts of challenges.

If you are a parent, I would encourage you to be careful about coddling your children’s fears. The Bible tells us not to fear over and over again. This is a discipline that must be developed from a young age. Like learning to walk or learning to ride a bike, we all must learn to conquer fear.

David really is right. It is incredibly liberating to laugh in the face of fear. Laughter is a healthy way to lighten up. I wonder if the secret to having such strong faith in the Lord is that we really can laugh at our fears. Like our young daughter battling her fears, we may discover greater joy than we ever thought possible when we conquer our “fret flies!”

Our Favorite Proverbs: He Will Make Your Paths Straight, Proverbs 3:5-6

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

When I became a follower of Jesus many years ago, I was intrigued to notice how the words in the Bible suddenly made sense to me. What I had dismissed as a “dead book” in my early twenties suddenly came to life.

Two verses that became anchor verses for me over the years are found in Proverbs 3:5-6. They promised that if I would trust God, something very new for me at the time, and not lean on my understanding, he would direct my paths. Since I had leaned heavily on my own mind and problem-solving ability, this was a radical shift.

The Bible challenged me not only to trust God but also to depend upon his mind. The promise that followed was powerful: He would direct my path, my “way of life.” Moving from an unbeliever to a devoted follower of Jesus was a huge adjustment. So, I memorized these and other Bible verses as I continued to immerse myself in God’s Word.

Fast forward to more than a decade later when we finally had our children. As our three children grew, I was passionate about helping them understand God’s Word from the earliest days. I would find verses that were easy to memorize and make up simple songs to go with them. I happened to ask my now grown son the other day if he could remember Proverbs 3:5-6. I had to laugh when he immediately sang the verses, complete with hand motions to go with them:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight!” He knew the verses by heart. And I’d like to think he has applied them over the years when he faced decisions or needed wisdom. I know I have.

But here’s the thing. Since I have hidden these words in my heart (Psalm 119:11), they are ready and available whenever I need them. Just the other day, I was talking with a young technician trying to solve our internet issue. When he finished, we struck up a conversation. Turns out he was trying to decide about whether to make a career change that would involve a big move. I casually quoted these verses from Proverbs and explained how I’ve turned to them when needing guidance. He was visibly moved and asked if I would pray for him. I prayed a simple prayer and encouraged him to read Proverbs 3:5-6 on his own. God’s Word is living and active, so you never know. Two short verses from Proverbs may just open the door for this young man to “trust God and lean not on his own understanding.”