Our Favorite Proverbs: Words of Life, Proverbs 14:1

by Marilynn Chadwick

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

Proverbs 14:1 NIV

Did you know that women talk more than men? It’s a proven fact. The average woman speaks about 20,000 words each day to the average man’s 7,000, or nearly three times as many! So if women want to use our words to build our house, we certainly have no shortage of building materials.

As wives, we sometimes forget the weight our words carry. I’ve discovered that one of the most powerful ways to build up my husband, David, is with my words, both the words I speak to him and the words I speak about him. Careless words can easily tarnish our husband’s reputation in the eyes of others.

Proverbs 14:1 reminds us that “the wise woman builds her house,” but a foolish one “tears hers down.” In the Bible, the term “house” is often synonymous with “family.” So when we build up our husbands, we strengthen our family, our “house.”

This principle applies to both men and women. The Bible talks about two kinds of words—words of life and words of death. It repeatedly cautions us about the dangers of the tongue and reminds us that our words have great power for good or evil.

We should pause here to consider that God holds us accountable for the words we speak. Think about it. Families and friendships are broken apart by words. Wars are started with words. Our tongue “sets the whole course of one’s life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell,” according to James 3:6. We are warned that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21 KJV).

So it naturally follows that our words would be some of our most powerful tools for building up or tearing down our marriages. One of my wise young friends with a very strong marriage sums it up this way: “I try to compliment my husband in front of others when he is present, but also when he is absent. In situations where it is tempting to criticize publicly, I try to say nothing and follow up on the conversation when we are at home in private. Then, I choose my words wisely—and above all, prayerfully.

Think about it. Our words can give life and encouragement. Or they can bring death and discouragement. Which will you choose?

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 15:22

by David Chadwick

“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Proverbs 15:22

My wife Marilynn and I are taking a look at some of our favorite verses from the book of Proverbs. In a world where everyone has an opinion, but few have wisdom, we find this book of the Bible to be of utmost importance.

What do you do when you have to make a hard decision? When you are faced with a dilemma and must act in wisdom? The first thing you should always do is turn to the Lord and to his Word. Pray for the power of his Holy Spirit to lead and guide you to truth that will encourage, strengthen, and fortify you.

Secondly, you should seek the invaluable support of trusted friends and advisors who love God and seek his will for their own lives. Solomon specifically said to seek a multitude of these kinds of advisers to succeed. Do you know why he suggests this? Because sometimes it takes many different people’s perspectives to give a full picture of understanding.

God often uses other wise individuals to help you navigate difficult decisions because trusted people can help you discern the right thing to do. Having many advisers helps you to see through your blind spots in order to make the right choice.

May I add one other insight here? Proverbs 16:31 says that gray hair is a crown of glory that comes from a righteous life. Do you know what this means? It means that people who have gray hair have learned certain things that only life could teach them. They have come face-to-face with situations, trials, and dilemmas that give them unique perspectives. They often have some of the best wisdom simply because they've lived life the longest. Glean from these people. Lean into their perspectives. They have invaluable resources.

In summary, when making a difficult life decision, here are some things to remember. Read God's Word. Pray for the Holy Spirit to bring you both wisdom and knowledge. Seek counsel from a wise friend. Give trusted advisers the ability to speak into your situation, especially those with gray hair. Then with humility, make your decision.

And trust God with the outcome.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 15:1

by David Chadwick

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 15:1

Have you ever had someone speak an angry word toward you? Maybe a friend? Your spouse? A boss at work? We live in a broken world where self-control is lacking and anger is commonplace.

Angry words can trigger shame, condemnation, and deep pain. It can be very hard to navigate angry words. So how should you respond when someone speaks angrily toward you?

The answer to this question and so many others can be found in the book of Proverbs. This book gives us practical wisdom for everyday life. It provides the answers to confusing questions and the knowledge to handle the difficult things we face.

In Proverbs 15:1, Solomon gave us the best answer for how to handle an angry attack. The answer might shock you! He says that “a soft answer turns away wrath.” When someone speaks an angry word against you, a gentle response without a lot of emotion is sure to confound the angry assailant.

Whereas an angry response only intensifies the anger, gentleness leaves the angry person dumbfounded. A soft response almost sedates the fury coming from the other person.

When you respond to someone's anger toward you with a soft answer, it ratchets down the emotion. It prevents anger from increasing. It gives the angry person a chance to calm down and engage in a civil conversation. That is always the best option to keep a relationship intact.

One of my favorite quotes that I have heard over the years says, “If you fight might with might, it usually leads to trouble.” Anger begets anger. Wrath begets wrath. Kindness begets kindness. After all, you reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-9).

Sow softness, gentleness, and kindness. Yes, even in the midst of anger. And watch as God works on your behalf.