Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 15:18 Temper, Temper!

by Marilynn Chadwick

“A hot-tempered person stirs up strife, but one who is slow to anger quiets contention.”

Proverbs 15:18

Be slow to anger. The book of Proverbs has lots to say about the problem of anger. Over fifteen different verses warn of the dangers of an unbridled temper. Anger is described as foolish and destructive. Being slow to anger is a sign of moral strength.

So dangerous is anger that we’re warned to steer clear of close friendships with hot-tempered people to avoid letting them influence our behavior. “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared” (Proverbs 22:24, 25 NIV).

Several verses in Proverbs give us a tutorial on how to avoid the anger trap. We’re encouraged to replace anger with a virtue, such as patience:

• Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly (Proverbs 14:29).

• A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).

• Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins (Proverbs 10:12).

• Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice (Proverbs 13:10).

• A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11).

• Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin (Proverbs 17:19).

That last tip in Proverbs 17:19 gives me pause. I confess I’ve been known to enjoy “verbal jousting” at times. And friendly debates are not all bad. But it’s good to remember that debates can become quarrels. I don’t want to “love a quarrel,” which this verse calls “loving sin.”

Ancient Jewish rabbis were so aware of the potentially destructive nature of anger that they elevated the virtue of love even above the highly prized virtue of truth.

Anger can be bad for our health, cause us to make rash and unwise decisions, and even lose at war. Someone once advised soldiers to “never enter a sword fight angry.” Proverbs 16:32 teaches that true strength is found in controlling one's spirit rather than winning an argument and a patient person is “stronger than a warrior.”

Let’s remember that God hates strife, especially in families and the family of God (Malachi 2:10). I don’t know about you, but I’m thankful that love covers a “multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 26:17, Don’t Be a Busybody

by Marilynn Chadwick

"Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.”

Proverbs 26:17

My husband, David, recently addressed Proverbs 26:17, but I find it so important that I want to expound upon it again today. Proverbs 26:11 says that if someone repeats their folly, they are fools. So, in an effort to walk in wisdom, let’s look at this concept again.

It is the danger of meddling in another’s affairs, sometimes referring to the sin of being a “busybody.” This kind of intrusion includes entering into someone else’s argument. It doesn’t take much imagination to see how grabbing a “stray dog by the ears,” as described in Proverbs 26:17, will cause us certain pain in the end. Just as a dog will snap at you if you grab its ears, people in a fight will sometimes turn their anger on the person who meddles in their quarrel.

The word “busybody” seems a bit old-fashioned. I’ve always thought of a busybody as a term for the frivolous but rather harmless gossip caricatured in a comedy. But the Bible paints a more serious picture. Scripture warns that being a meddler or busybody comes with its own form of danger, even suffering.

“But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters” (1 Peter 4:15 NKJV). Did you catch that? Being a busybody, or meddler, causes suffering.

Let’s look at a different version of this verse in its context: “If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name (1 Peter 4:15-16 NIV). Life is messy, and sin causes pain. But if we suffer, it shouldn’t be as a murderer or thief. Or even as a busybody.

The New Testament term for “busybody” is defined as “one who oversees that which belongs to another.” Also described as “factious,” the busybody, or meddler, causes trouble for himself or herself and spreads trouble and division to others. That’s why it’s not a minor offense.

Proverbs repeatedly emphasizes the wisdom of avoiding the temptation to stir up strife. It warns that “fools constantly meddle and bring trouble on themselves” (Proverbs 20:3).

Bottom line? Mind your own business! And when you’re tempted to take charge of something that’s not your own, remember the Bible’s warning to avoid the suffering that’s sure to follow. Next time I’m tempted to meddle, I’ll think back to that image of a dog snapping at me and try to resist the temptation to “fix everybody and everything.”

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 16:8, A Common but Dangerous Sin

by Marilynn Chadwick

“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”

Proverbs 16:8 NIV

The Bible mentions gossip and its related behaviors, such as slander, backbiting, and whispering, over 150 times. The sin of gossip is often mentioned alongside more seemingly serious sins, like theft or murder. “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy” (Romans 1:29-32 NIV).

Gossip is pretty serious stuff. The book of Proverbs paints a picture of the dire consequences of gossip and gives ample warnings to avoid its sting: “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:13 NIV).

At its core, gossip is simply another lust of the flesh. And like any lust, gossip can seem temporarily satisfying. “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts” (Proverbs 18:8).

The New Testament strongly warns us about the dangers of gossip. It’s as if gossip is an appetite all its own. "But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another!" (Galatians 5:15 NKJV). This passage is addressed to Christ followers and warns against destructive conflict, gossip, and strife within the church. The solution is found in Galatians 5:16: “Walk in the Spirit and you will not obey the lusts of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16 NIV).

When we follow Jesus, we have the indwelling Holy Spirit. Living by the Holy Spirit’s guidance, or “walking in the Spirit," enables us to overcome sinful, fleshly desires, like the temptation to gossip, rather than giving in to them. This requires continual abiding in Christ and trusting his power within us, rather than simply fighting the temptation through sheer willpower. Remember, the flesh and spirit continually war against one another (Galatians 5:16-17).

When it comes to the sin of gossip, it pays to be alert. To realize temptation can come disguised as a “prayer request” or “verbal processing” with a friend. Walk in the Spirit daily. Keep up your guard. Be alert to the devil’s methods. Don’t use your freedom to “indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:14).

Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Replace gossip with something stronger. Pray. Try fasting from gossip. Take it to the cross. Find accountability with a fellow believer. And remember, love covers a multitude of sins.