Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 1:10, Choose Your Companions Wisely

by Marilynn Chadwick

“My child, sinners will try to lead you into sin. But do not follow them.”

Proverbs 1:10 ICB

Proverbs warns about the danger of bad companions. We were careful with our children and who they chose as friends. We made the decision to send our children to secular schools, knowing they would be surrounded by a variety of kids. But a troubled kid was always welcome in our home. Sometimes, even a problem child, when surrounded by a healthy home environment, could make great progress.

The phrase "Bad company corrupts good character" is a famous quote from 1 Corinthians 15:33. It warns that close association with foolish peers can negatively influence one's own morals and behavior.

However, there was one category of friend that caused us to provide more boundaries of protection. These I would call the “dream killers.” David and I have been more intentional about protecting our children from dream killers than we have from more obvious misbehavior. Children can be taught to recognize the dangers of drinking or drugs. But they may not always see the subtlety of a dream killer.

Dream killers can come in the form of peers or even adults at times. This is sometimes called “the crab pot syndrome.” This means when one crab tries to crawl out of a pot, the others will pull him back down. We’ve seen this syndrome play out time and again.

Not everyone sees our child’s dream or supports that dream. That’s why we prayed fervently for God to guard our children’s friendships. We prayed the Lord would use those friends to encourage each other to draw our children close to him and then to open doors for their calling to make an impact for Christ on this broken and hurting world. Let us consider [thoughtfully] how we may encourage one another to love and to do good deeds (Hebrews 10:24 AMP).

Every dreamer needs a team. Consider ways to build a good team around your child. Bring teachers, grandparents, coaches, and church leaders into your circle of friends. They can be some of your biggest allies in helping your children reach their dreams.

I supported our children’s teachers and coaches and volunteered whenever possible. Coming from a family of educators, I deeply admired the many adults who poured their lives into our children. I prayed for them, encouraged them, even befriended them.

But there were times when I had to go to bat for our children. On a couple of occasions, I asked a teacher or coach to consider giving a second chance or a harder challenge to one of our children. In each case, I knew the child was ready. And in each case, the teacher or coach agreed, so I was glad I spoke up. Prayer partners are also key, along with the parents of your children’s friends. It really does take a village.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 3:11-12, Love and Limits

by Marilynn Chadwick

“My son do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”

Proverbs 3:11-12 NIV

Children are generally asking two questions: “Do you love me?” and “Can I have my own way?” They seem to thrive on love and limits. So as parents we would say, “Yes, I love you, and “No, you can’t always have your own way.”

Focused attention, eye contact, lots of snuggles, a listening ear. There are many ways to say I love you. Unconditional love is a vital ingredient of a healthy home. But limits are important too. Limits provide a sense of security.

Here’s a little secret: If it’s necessary to correct your children, give them consequences that are actually beneficial to them. For example, an early bedtime, cleaning the bathroom, finishing a book instead of watching television, doing 50 jumping jacks to get the wiggles out. You get the point.

I also learned as the kids reached middle school to go easier on eye contact. Don’t bear down too hard in serious conversations. That’s probably why our best talks—especially the hard ones—happened while driving in the car. They’d tell me most anything I wanted to know if I didn’t intrude. Conversations in the van often turned into spiritual life lessons—I dubbed our drive time “e-van-gelism.”

Faith is both caught and taught. I encouraged our kids to be on the lookout for signs of God at work—in big ways and small ones. We dared our kids to dream big and trust God with the results. But mostly, I wanted them to be able to hear God for themselves—to discern his voice from all the others. They didn’t know it, but I continually watched to see if they were shaping their views according to what they were learning at home or what the world was telling them.

It really doesn’t matter where I travel. It’s the same in any culture—rich or poor. We can never underestimate the power of a strong and loving home. Home is where humans thrive and grow best. It’s where children should be nurtured. Instructed. Protected. It’s where they catch the faith. And where they’re free to dream. Especially when the home is built on the solid rock of faith in Jesus Christ.

When a home is filled with the grace of unconditional love and the framework of strong limits, and when parents seek the Lord with all their whole heart, a home can produce children who are likely to change the world.

Our Favorite Proverbs:Proverbs 11:28, Wealth Never Satisfies

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf.”

Proverbs 11:28

Wealth tricks us, tempts us, and promises what it can't deliver. So, we humans buy the lie and exhaust ourselves—chasing after that which fades. Riches. Achievements. Beauty. All are satisfying at first. But they don’t last. Anyone who has watched a loved one age and die knows that the joys we experience on this earth are fleeting. Faded jeans. Faded furniture. Faded memories—mental images grow dim over time. Let’s be honest. Life here on earth fades.

The book of James is filled with practical wisdom. That’s why some call it “The Proverbs of the New Testament.” We find this same warning about the fleeting nature of wealth. James beckons us to turn our eyes toward eternity, reminding us how “the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements” (James 1:11b NLT).

Let’s look at the complete passage from The Message, a stirring paraphrase: “Prosperity is as short-lived as a wildflower, so don’t ever count on it. You know that as soon as the sun rises, pouring down its scorching heat, the flower withers. Its petals wilt and, before you know it, that beautiful face is a barren stem. Well, that’s a picture of the ‘prosperous life.’ At the very moment everyone is looking on in admiration, it fades away to nothing” (James 1:9-11 MSG).

Several proverbs speak about greed, warning us that chasing wealth brings trouble, destroys families, and ultimately steals the life of the greedy person. They emphasize that greedy pursuits lead to ruin, whereas contentment is a source of security and wisdom. "He who is greedy for unjust gain troubles his own household" (Proverbs 15:27a ESV). "A greedy man stirs up strife" (Proverbs 28:25a).

Overwork and greed are modern-day idols. So it’s wise to be aware that when we set our minds to guard against idolatry, we step into an intense spiritual battle. I believe materialism is the chief rival god of our age. That’s why victory over the bondage to material things and pulling down the stronghold of busyness requires a fierce fight. It’s also why, at its core, our real battle is to believe and take our place in prayer.

God wants us to freely enjoy this life. But it’s wise to sit lightly on the world’s fleeting pleasures. We are to build our foundation on the eternal life given to us only in Christ.