How to Honor Your Wife: Encourage Her Gifts

by David Chadwick

We accepted the call to our first church in 1980. For our first year in ministry, Marilynn told me she wanted to get our home secure and learn what it’s like to be a preacher’s wife. Fortunately, the wonderful people of that church never placed any expectations upon her. They simply wanted her to be her!

That’s what she did. She was always by my side, as a gracious wife and helper. In those early years, when this church was small, we were everything from the youth leaders to pastoral counselors to Bible teachers to prayer leaders. We were involved in everything that went on in the church—mostly because we had to be.

Yet I knew that underneath her servant’s heart laid a greatly gifted woman of God—gifted in ways I wasn’t. I knew she had much to offer the world. She had already sacrificed much to follow me. Therefore, I wanted to encourage her gifts, passions, and goals in life.

Encouraging Marilynn’s gifts was all about releasing her God-given potential. As her husband, her life partner in marriage, I was in a better position than anyone else to make that happen.

Have you ever thought about that as well—that you as a husband are the one person who is most able to encourage your wife’s gifts? God has gifted her in special ways—in fact, she’s gifted in areas that you aren’t. God brought you two together because he knew you could help bring the best out of each other.

Biblically, husbands are called to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25). In my opinion, one of the best ways you can demonstrate the love of Jesus to your wife is to help her launch her gifts.

Here is one final point of advice: As you encourage your wife to discover her passions, try to find those areas in which you share similar giftedness. When you do, if possible, try to find ministry and service opportunities you can do together. These experiences will draw you closer like nothing else—just like the mission trips that Marilynn and I do together.

I pray you will encourage your wife to discover and use her unique gifts. I pray especially you’ll be able to find mutual areas of giftedness through which you can serve together. That will especially help to draw you closer together. And make you one.

This series is adapted from David Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Wife: Be a Man of God

by David Chadwick

Dudley Do-Right was a cartoon character. Regularly, he bumbled and fumbled his way toward heroic success. Often after he’d delivered the damsel in distress, she would coyly sigh and say to him, “My hero.”

Some might suggest that the saved damsel’s praise of Dudley’s heroism is misogynistic drivel. I don’t think so. I think most women yearn for their husbands to be heroes. They want to believe their husbands are willing to sacrificially die for them as Jesus did for the church (Ephesians 5:25).

That’s true love—not some syrupy, ever-changing feeling, but the willingness to die so the other can live. Jesus said there is no greater love than that of laying down one’s life for another (John 15:13). This type of self-effacing, sacrificial heroism enhances the wife’s respect toward her husband. And respect is what a man longs for from his wife (Ephesians 5:33).

Similarly, she yearns to see his heroism take strong stands. She wants to see him as a mighty, ferocious warrior, dressed for battle, someone doggedly fighting for truth, justice, goodness, fairness, and righteousness.

These strong stands may be reflected in a stand for all life—in and outside the womb. Or perhaps it’s a commitment against sex trafficking. Or maybe it’s being an outspoken advocate for racial equality. Or perhaps it’s a dogged stand for justice for the disenfranchised and marginalized in our world. Maybe it’s working to ensure all have clean water and food. Or perhaps it’s a desire to reach the world for Christ.

Wives hunger for husbands who are heroes. These kinds of strong convictions honor our wives. They solidify respect in their hearts.

I’m convinced that heroism, humility, forgiveness, and bridled power are some of the character traits most wives desire from their husbands. When carried out, they honor the wife. And that, in turn, increases the wife’s respect for her husband. The end result is a greater oneness between them.

Husbands, be a man of God. Pursue his heart. And watch your wife’s respect for you grow and grow.

This series is adapted from David Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Wife: Trust Her Gut

by David Chadwick

I wish I’d been smarter in this area. If so, I could have avoided a lot of pain. I stupidly ignored this reality. If I could redo one major part of Marilynn’s and my marital life together it would be this one. I’d trust her gut more. I’d honor her intuition.

It’s happened not once, but on multiple occasions. Marilynn sensed something was wrong. Her spiritual antenna was high. It was receiving strong signals. She sensed something unknown. There was an inward, environmental stimulus without any accompanying reason. It caused extreme tightness and discomfort in her stomach area.

She couldn’t explain why she undeniably sensed what she did, but she did. She just knew something wasn’t right. Something was out of whack. Something bad was about to happen. Her gut was twisted and nervous. There was a foreboding something on the horizon. And she was saying to me that I just needed to trust her gut.

Too often I ignored her suggestions and plowed ahead with what I needed to do and thought was best. I’d give a polite nod. Or sometimes I’d argue back, saying she didn’t understand the full picture. Or sometimes I was totally dismissive and I’d say she simply needed to trust me. Looking back, I often ignored her instincts to my own eventual chagrin and demise.

Fortunately, she has seldom poured on guilt by saying, “I told you so.” She’s been gracious when I’ve later acknowledged her wisdom and my folly. But on many occasions I’ve gone to her and simply said, “You were right. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I should have listened to you.” If there is one positive thing that’s come from these excruciating experiences, it’s that I learned great humility.

Again, I wish I’d been smarter. In this area, hindsight truly is 20/20. Some people call it women’s intuition. Others refer to it as a gut instinct. I’m not exactly sure of the appropriate term. But I know it’s true. Women have something inwardly that men don’t have. They receive insights on situations men tend to ignore.

Through the years, I’ve learned that Marilynn is on my side. Like God, she is for me (Romans 8:31). She wants the best for me. She wants me to succeed. She desires for me not to step into stuff that will hinder me. If this is so, I must trust her gut.

This series is adapted from David Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!