Kindness Under Fire: Nurturing Children

by Marilynn Chadwick

To nurture someone is another way to be kind. Especially when it comes to little children. The words nurture and nourish come from the Latin word meaning “to nurse.” To nurture someone is to help them grow, develop, or succeed.

I think back to the days of nursing our three children and I’m still awed that I was able to provide practically all the nourishment needed by those babies for their first year of life. To me, breastfeeding was nurturing and nourishment all rolled up into one.

I’ve enjoyed traveling in what some call “developing” nations and feel a kindred spirit with the common-sense mamas who live in these countries. They nurse their babies, wear them attached in a sling while they work, and view children as their greatest source of wealth.

Over the years, I’ve met all kinds of women who care for their families in all types of households all over the world. But the word nurture most comes alive for me when I think back to a little tent home in a slum in India—and the unlikely woman of valor who nurtured her family inside.

Men, women, and children of all ages squeezed into the patchwork tent that was both home and church for Pastor Raju. He was a ragpicker by trade. Daily, he sifted through the garbage dump to find rags, plastic, bits of this-and-that to sell.

Raju was a member of the Untouchable Caste. Courageous pastors like Raju were why the gospel was spreading rapidly in this heavily persecuted region of India. Raju was small and wiry with a firm grip and a wide grin. He was fiery and passionate that morning as he reminded his congregation that they were the “head and not the tail” in God’s eyes. Warmth and singing filled the tent. We were welcomed as the “honored guests” and  David was to preach the message that morning.

Raju preached the Gospel with courage and boldness. But it was Raju’s wife who captured my heart. She had turned their tent into an inviting home. Her kitchen was just a shelf and a one-burner hot plate in the room that was also bedroom, living room, and church.

After the service, she prepared tea along with a single roll of Ritz crackers, served to us by their children. Raju beamed as he introduced his family. A handful of boys and girls greeted us with shining faces and firm handshakes. They had been well-nurtured there in that little one-room tent beside the garbage dump. How was this possible?

This tiny woman of valor had found a way to nurture these smiling children. She and her husband had given them physical, emotional, and spiritual nourishment. Looking into their faces, I sensed they would somehow find their way in this harsh and difficult environment.

Raju’s wife was both nurturer and warrior for her little family, living proof that a woman of valor can live in a tent as well as a palace. Her children were a testimony that it doesn’t take money or education to nurture a child—just love. This was the legacy of the ragpicker’s wife. This was her kingdom. And her husband and children were her crown.

Our Kindness Under Fire series is adapted from Woman of Valor by Marilynn Chadwick. Click here for more inspiration or to order a copy of Woman of Valor.

Kindness Under Fire: How to Take the Perfect Nap

by Marilynn Chadwick

Religion has not always been kind to women. But women also seem bent on exhausting themselves. Today’s woman seems restless. I think St. Augustine could easily have been talking to us when he made this famous statement in his Confessions: “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”

Religion may not have been easy on women. But Jesus has been supremely kind. That’s why I keep pointing out our enemy, the devil, as the real perpetrator of the war on women. Hurting women has been his game plan from the start. Jesus made a spectacle out of our foe and all his minions (Colossians 2:15). That’s why abiding in Christ—drawing our strength from him—must be our passion. Through Jesus, we can stand firm as women of valor, balancing the nurturer and warrior roles that make us strong and kind.

It’s also vitally important that we understand God’s true character. That He is our all-powerful warrior, protector, and defender. That he is infinitely kind, chesed. Teaching others about God’s kindness begins with teaching ourselves.

I have a friend who once took the time to spell out for me, in detail, how she had learned to take a really good nap. Over the years, she has fine-tuned her art of nap-taking, so I laughingly call her the “connoisseur of the perfect nap.” Whenever I talk about my friend’s nap method, people always seem eager for details. Now, this particular friend was a hard worker and very productive—a high-capacity leader and well-respected author. So I found myself eager to know her secret.

Here’s what she told me: First, set your alarm for one hour. Your shoes and socks must be off. Then you need to get all the way under your sheets—yes even if you made your bed perfectly that morning. Finally, get a good book. Start reading and let yourself fall asleep naturally. The alarm will awaken you, so you don’t have to worry about oversleeping. Voila! And there you have it. The perfect nap!

Taking a nap might seem trivial. But staying well-rested is not. I hope you see by now that adequate rest is a necessity, not a luxury. God did not create us to be machines, built to work seven days a week. Without rest, our mental and physical health will suffer. Without rest, our relationships suffer. And sometimes even our ability to love can grow cold.

Think about whether you are kind to yourself. Is it hard for you to receive God’s love? Are you exhausted? If so, Jesus wants you to find your rest in him. I encourage you to explore practical ways to rest your mind, your soul, and your body. This may mean spending more quiet time with him, reclaiming your Sabbath, or being intentional about your weekly day off. And sometimes it may be as simple as learning how to take a really good nap.

Our Kindness Under Fire series is adapted from Woman of Valor by Marilynn Chadwick. Click here for more inspiration or to order a copy of Woman of Valor.

Kindness Under Fire: A Leader with Heart

by Marilynn Chadwick

I’m one of those people that gets misty-eyed over our men and women in uniform. My dad is a World War II era submarine veteran. Our family tree is dotted with soldiers back to the Revolutionary War, when our ancestor, Captain Simon Hunt, was one of the 80 minutemen who led the charge against the British with the “shot heard round the world.”

Soldiers fight for our freedom. They display courage and discipline. But for me, war is all about heart. A woman of valor is ready to fight the fight of faith and to fight for those she loves because she has heart. The word heart is used in the Bible over 700 times. The heart is viewed as the seat of the will, the emotions, and even the entire personality. Heart can go hand in hand with kindness—as we see in the word kindhearted.

The heart is also connected to courage. A woman of valor is one who has courage in the face of danger. In the Bible, the words heart and courage are sometimes used interchangeably. For example, Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Instead of “take heart,” several translations tell us to “take courage.”

Deborah was a great leader who had heart. An Old Testament judge and prophet, she was part nurturer and part warrior. Deborah leaves us with a wonderful picture of what it means to lead with kindness. Widely honored for her wisdom, Deborah was the first judge to be called a prophet. She spoke God’s words to his people. She called them to obedience, convicted them of sin, and pointed them to God. We can be certain that Deborah had trained her heart to hear the voice of God.

In Deborah’s day, Israel was in great trouble. They had strayed from the Lord and followed idols, so he sold the people into the hands of their enemies. For twenty years, they had been cruelly oppressed by the Canaanites and their 900 iron chariots. As a result, they had fallen into great despair. Even their roads were unsafe, so people left their villages and retreated to the walled cities, where they hid in fear. There was not even an army of fighting warriors to protect Israel.

That is, until Deborah stepped on the scene. She told how “villagers in Israel would not fight…until I, Deborah arose, until I arose, a mother in Israel” (Judges 5:7 NIV). Notice Deborah didn’t refer to herself as a prophet or a judge, but as “a mother in Israel.” A mother with a heart for her people. A mother ready to spring into action.

Deborah was a nurturing leader. And she sounds like a good mother to me. In the end, after Israel’s overwhelming victory, the final line of her story tells us “The land had peace forty years” (Judges 5:31).

I wonder if God is calling forth today’s women to lead with strength and kindness. Women who nurture and nourish their own children. Who rise up and see potential in broken-down communities. Who call warriors to courage. Who give visions of victory. Who spell out sin and call for repentance. Women like Deborah, who “mother” others to greatness. Is God calling you to be one of those women?