How to Honor Your Husband: If You Want to Be Strong, Abide

by Marilynn Chadwick

A young mom once asked me if there was anything I’d do differently if I were just starting out in my marriage. After giving it some thought, I responded that I’d be even more intentional about abiding in Christ. I’ve come to believe that abiding—developing an ongoing connection with the Lord—is the secret to lasting strength in marriage.

A while back, my husband David made a comment that got me thinking. “I really like it that you’re not needy,” he said. “I can tell you’re not looking to me for your identity.” He went on to say, “Because of your relationship with the Lord, you come to our marriage with a full cup. I know you’re not going to drain me dry.” I’m intrigued that his comment sticks out in my mind all these years later.

I’ve thought further about what he said. David knows my weaknesses better than anyone. He has walked me through more fears and more tears than I can count. And yet, he still considers me strong. Perhaps he sees strength in me that I don’t even see in myself. The strength that comes from my relationship with Jesus.

Abiding in Christ is not some magic pill you swallow and then, “Bam, you’re in!” No, it’s a daily process carved out with one foot in front of the other. Even on days I don’t feel like it. Especially on days when I don’t feel like it.

Let’s remember. Everything God created was good. But he looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Something was missing. So God said: "I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18 NIV).

I’ve come to believe that in a very real way, the call to be a strong helper, or ezer, in my marriage is a call to a daily walk with Christ. It’s saying yes when Jesus calls to me to follow him. Yes to honoring my husband. And yes to abiding.

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Husband: Wage Peace

by Marilynn Chadwick

Today’s world is busy and noisy. How can I lighten my husband’s load and his heart? Help him have fun? I’ve learned that simple habits, like taking a day off together each week, honor David by allowing him to be refreshed.

We were also intentional about family vacations. Doing so allowed us to sustain our many years of raising a family and church ministry. We learned we could then return to the fray strengthened and with renewed enthusiasm.

Peace should be a priority in our homes. A peaceful home refreshes and blesses our families. But sometimes, peace doesn’t come without a fight. If we are serious about “waging peace,” it helps to know our enemy.

I’ve discovered that the quickest way to rob peace is through worry. Anxiety can drain my energy and quench calm faster than just about anything. What’s more, it’s contagious. When the kids were small, if I became worried, they seemed to absorb my anxiety and become fretful.

Worry is also exhausting. I agree with a friend who coined this acronym for W-O-R-R-Y: Worry Only Robs Rest from You. Worry says loud and clear that I don’t trust God. But when I refuse to be anxious, when I trust God and remain peaceful, I create a climate of peace.

I have to confess I grew up as a world-class worrier. There were times early in our marriage when fear held me in its grip. Fear of storms, fear of intruders, fear of illness, fear of flying. You name it—I probably wrestled with it.

But I learned to be ruthless. Through the promises in God’s Word, lots of prayer, and putting my faith into action, I wrestled many of my fears to the ground. I’m not completely worry-free, but I can tell you I no longer feel like a prisoner to fear.

These twin invaders, fear and anxiety, can wreak havoc on a home and a marriage. God doesn’t treat fear and worry as small things. He tells us to “cast all our anxiety on him” because he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7 NIV).

He commands us to “be anxious for nothing” (Philippians 4:6 NKJV). As with any stubborn problem, the first step is to confront anxiety head-on. Call it out for the enemy that it is. We may find that our repentance is soon followed by times of refreshing and revival. A peace that passes all earthly understanding. This is what happens when we “wage peace.”

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Husband: Pray Like You Mean It

by Marilynn Chadwick

A practical way to honor my husband is simply through the home environment I create. Our surroundings, daily routine, and health habits will either help build up my husband or weigh him down in defeat. Scripture instructs wives to be “keepers” of their homes (Titus 2:5 KJV).

The word keeper can be translated as “guard.” Not only do I pay attention to the physical surroundings of our home, but I am mindful of what happens here. What kinds of movies do we watch? What are our conversations about? Each family is different and so is each husband.

Surroundings do matter. However, if you were to ask me what’s the single most important thing you can do to honor your husband, I would simply say: Pray for him. Pray like you mean it. Pray like you believe God works through your prayers. And make prayer for your husband a priority.

I have seen many wives’ prayers encourage husbands who are already following Jesus. And I have seen prayer soften the hearts of men who have rejected God. I am mystified as to why prayer works when words fall short. I just know it does.

My dear friend Jane prayed for years for her husband to accept Christ. He continued to resist the gospel. My friend was wise. She refused to nag. But she set aside 15 minutes to pray for her husband every morning.

I don’t remember how long Jane prayed for him. But, a couple years later, I watched in amazement as her husband walked forward to accept Christ at a Billy Graham Crusade in our city. During the invitation, I happened to glance to my right. I was startled to see this man who had stiff-armed God! There he was, wife by his side, resolutely heading to the front of the arena where he gave his life to Jesus Christ once and for all.

The ripple effect of that one influential man’s devotion to Christ was powerful. The impact he had on his family and community is evident to this day. All because of the quiet witness and faithful prayers of a strong wife. Like my husband always says, “If you don’t love Jesus and you have a praying wife or a praying mother, look out—you’re toast!”

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!