A Legacy of Honor: Whatever Happened to Honor? (Part 4 of 4)

by Marilynn Chadwick

…continued from yesterday

Honor is sorely lacking in many of our homes. Marriages are breaking up at an alarming rate. Sadly, the percentage of wives leaving their husbands has risen dramatically. I believe this topic of honor is timely.

We’d first do well to remind ourselves that at its core, honor is a biblical concept, woven throughout the pages of Scripture to characterize our relationship with God and with each other. The Bible defines honor in the most precious of terms, conveying not only value and respect, but also extreme costliness. It’s sometimes used interchangeably with the word for wealth. So to honor someone is to treat that person as having the utmost worth.

I, too, can use a refresher course myself in how to show my husband how special he is to me. You’d think that after over four decades of marriage, I’d have this one down. David and I have had a wonderful life together. We love and respect each other and we enjoy spending time together. We’ve always remained faithful to one another.

But now and then, if I’m honest with myself, I’ve been guilty of taking my husband for granted. Maybe you have, too. The mystery and the wonder of marriage—we can let it slide past us if we’re not watching. We can forget to be thankful when the familiar becomes comfortable. To honor our husbands means to recapture a little of the awe.

I want to explore how to become more mindful about how to honor my husband, but also how to reclaim honor in our culture in general. From men to women and women to men. From young to old and old to young. I will share some of the practical ways I’ve learned to communicate to David that I truly do honor him as the most special person in my life. I will also include some valuable tips from friends in my life.

My husband’s father, the late Dr. Howard Chadwick, used to tell David, “The best gift you can give your children is a strong marriage.” And so I remind those of you who are moms: The best gift you can give your children is to love and honor your husband.

Our husbands are not simply an afterthought sandwiched in between life with kids, chores, workouts, and activities. We need to be strong, faithful, and above all, intentional if we want our marriages not just to survive but to thrive. Our marriages are worth it. So are our husbands.

It’s time to have an honest conversation about honor. Why does it seem to be in such short supply these days? The culture around us is groaning, desperately in need of honor. My hope is that together, we could spark a movement of honor that would spill over into a hurting and broken world. It’s hard work, but the rewards are worth it. I hope you’ll join me for this journey.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

A Legacy of Honor:Whatever Happened to Honor? (Part 3 of 4)

by Marilynn Chadwick

…continued from yesterday

I emphasized the importance of honoring men in an editorial I once wrote for our local newspaper after the passing of the legendary University of North Carolina basketball coach Dean Smith. Along with great basketball, Coach Smith taught his players, including my husband, much about honor. David says that next to his own father, Smith was the most significant man in his life. Though the excerpt below is primarily about men as fathers, it begs the question as to why the lack of honor toward men today:

Good dads these days are hard to find. Just watch any television show. Dads are spoofed, maligned, caricatured, and generally disrespected. The message? It’s just not cool to be a dad. If the same treatment were given to moms, you’d spark a revolt.

But that’s the nature of dads. The good ones don’t whine. They don’t show off. They put the needs of their families ahead of their own. And as Coach Smith modeled for us all, good dads embody self-sacrifice. In short, good dads are that reservoir of safety and unconditional love for which all kids hunger. Quite likely, they’re a major factor in determining the outcome of a young person’s life. The statistics aren’t pretty. Kids without dads are more likely to end up pregnant out of wedlock, in prison, poor, or dead. And bad dads may be worse than no dads, leaving scars inside and outside that can last a lifetime.

But I’m seeing a resurgence of dad-hunger out there. I think people today are literally dying for good dads. Perhaps Coach Smith’s legacy will inspire dads to be better. Smith knew it wasn’t simply about winning and losing but rather “how you play the game.” His life reminds us that good guys are very cool. And just maybe, more guys will want to become good dads. Lord knows we need them.

The responses to my editorial surprised me. Had I touched a nerve? Handwritten notes and emails poured in from a variety of readers—male and female, young and old. A prominent defense attorney even shared the memory of his own father, now deceased, reminiscing about what an honorable man his dad was in his eyes. A federal judge, a bank president, the local head of a government agency, a former mayor. Each told me about the honorable men in their lives. One even confided his heart’s desire to be a man of honor within his own family. Several young moms, all who happened to be at home with small children, wrote in to praise their husbands for their hard work and for being such good husbands and fathers. Others posted on social media that they were challenged by my reminder to simply be thankful for the honorable men in their lives.

The responses made me wonder. What has happened to honor these days? Are we a culture that’s thirsty for honor? It certainly made me think…

…to be continued tomorrow.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

A Legacy of Honor: Whatever Happened to Honor? (Part 2 of 4)

by Marilynn Chadwick

…continued from yesterday

Whatever happened to honor?

Honor is a topic that has either been grossly overvalued to the point where people are demanded to treat other humans as demi-gods or it has been undervalued to the point where disrespect and disdain is casual, flippant, and normalized.

I don’t know about you, but I can tell when honor is missing. To be disrespected or dishonored in some cultures around the world is so insulting that it’s grounds for fighting. Some even justify the use of violence to defend one’s honor or the honor of one’s family. What started out as an urban slang expression for disrespect, “diss,” has become so common as to transcend culture or age. Most any child can tell you what it means to diss somebody, or worse yet, to be dissed.

Sadly, we live in a time when dishonor is so common that it feels almost normal. Over the years, I’ve noticed that honor, especially in marriage, seems to be disappearing. More than once I’ve overheard a group of wives criticizing their husbands to each other. Sort of a group-gripe fest. And why not? It’s open season on men these days. You don’t have to watch television or movies too long before you see an example of “man bashing.” I find this trend disturbing.

Maybe it’s because I live with a servant-hearted husband who is not only the love of my life, but also my best friend. Perhaps it’s because I have two grown sons and a son-in-law, all of whom are honorable young men. Or maybe it’s because I grew up with a wonderful dad. For whatever reason, I’m bothered by how trendy it has become over the years to diss men, especially husbands and fathers. Seems like we’ve gotten too cool to appreciate the good guys anymore.

I want my life to help restore the legacy of honor…

…to be continued tomorrow.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!