A Legacy of Honor: Whatever Happened to Honor? (Part 1 of 4)

by Marilynn Chadwick

My new friend began our conversation quite innocently by asking me to pray for her marriage. We were both young wives adjusting to life in a new city. I didn’t know her very well, but over the next few minutes, I would learn way more than I wanted to know about her personal life. And about her husband. She launched into a litany of all the ways he had disappointed her. She then proceeded to describe in detail how far short he fell in her eyes as a man. Before too many minutes had passed, this poor guy began to fall short in my eyes as well.

Many years have come and gone since that conversation. So why do I still remember it so well? Well, for one thing, I never could quite look at that guy in the same way again. His reputation, at least from my end, had been damaged by his wife’s words. I made a mental note to myself to never, ever talk so casually to someone else about my husband’s shortcomings. And I tried not to be on the receiving end of that kind of toxic spill again.

Now please don’t get me wrong. It’s not that David and I don’t have our own flaws or that we’ve never struggled in our marriage. We’re human too. Marriage is hard work and forces us to come to grips with our sin and selfishness like nothing else. No doubt, there are times in life when it may be appropriate to share your marriage struggles with a good friend or a wise counselor. But it was the disrespectful picture that my friend had painted of her husband that felt so wrong. So dishonoring.

And because this is a series on honor, I’ve been taking a long, hard look at the whole concept of honor and its importance in marriage and in our culture in general. Honor can be defined as the “value or worth we give to someone because of their good quality or character.” Honor conveys dignity, honesty, and integrity. To honor someone is to treat that person with admiration or respect.

Over the next two weeks, let’s dig into this important topic of honor together…

…to be continued tomorrow.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “The Training Wheels of Honor”

By Marilynn Chadwick

Honor is not a subject you hear much about these days. If anything, we've become much more accustomed to disrespect and dishonor. The urban slang for disrespect, or “dis,” has made its way into everyday language. Most any child can tell you what it means to “dis” someone. Or worse, to be “dissed.”

Honor. Simply put, the word means to treat someone with respect or admiration. It has to do with qualities like honesty, integrity and dignity. The biblical version of honor is much weightier. Lofty. It speaks to the precious worth of the person being honored and is related to words like glory, worship or prize.

Most of us yearn to be treated with respect. We benefit not only from receiving honor but also from giving it to others. God set the bar low so that even a child can show honor. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:2,3). You might call this the “the training wheels of honor” (Exodus 20:12).

When children honor their earthly parents, they begin to grasp what it means to honor their heavenly Father. Perhaps it’s time to recapture this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. But let's do so with a sense of expectancy. For God Himself makes this bold promise: “Those who honor me, I will honor” (1 Samuel 2:30).

In Genesis 2:18, God created us to be our husband’s helper, or ezer, a source of rock-like strength and support. But we can also choose to use that ezer strength to work against our husband, robbing him of strength and confidence.

I’ve wondered whether we’ve lost sight of the importance of respect. Perhaps a lack of honor could be at the core of many divorces.

Honor doesn’t just happen. It goes against the grain of our culture. Disrespect, on the other hand, takes very little energy. It’s the path of least resistance. Honor is a narrow road. It requires strength and intentionality.

I’ve never forgotten this tidbit of common-sense wisdom from a dear friend who had been married for over sixty years. It went something like this: “Don’t be afraid to be the one who loves the most.” The same could be said of honor. Don’t be afraid to be the one who honors the most.

As we have been learning to honor our husbands and restore honor in the home, I want to leave you with this challenge. Dare to take the first step by honoring your husband even before he honors you.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “The Lost Art of Honor”

by Marilynn Chadwick

“I don’t enjoy going to lunch with my work friends anymore,” my young friend confided over coffee. “The conversation always turns into husband bashing.” Her own marriage wasn’t perfect, she admitted. “I’m a very transparent person,” she smiled. “So I try to be real. But I don’t want to dishonor my husband. And I want my friends to know I truly love being married to him.”

As we talked, she came to the conclusion that it was okay for her to be honest with her friends about some of her own marriage struggles. She could share a few of the positive ways she and her husband have discovered to work through their issues. But she resolved to do this in a manner that would honor both Christ and her husband.

I loved my friend’s heart for her husband and for the Lord. Knowing her as I do, she’ll be a winsome witness to her friends about what it means to have a godly marriage. And more importantly, what it means to follow Christ.

That conversation was just one of many I’ve had with women of all ages while writing Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. I yearn to help wives reclaim the lost art of honoring their husbands.

Perhaps it’s time to take a fresh look at this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. “Those who honor me, I will honor” (1 Samuel 2:30). Then, let’s explore practical ways to honor our husbands. Remember, the world is watching us. And deep down, I believe they’re thirsty for honor—especially honor in marriage.

The tone I set in our home when I honor my husband inspires our children to honor him and each other. It feels good to get respect. To be honored. But it also feels incredibly good to honor someone else.

We find that as we give honor, we get it back. But giving honor, especially in a world which has largely forgotten this concept, doesn’t come easy. It takes practice. I’ve learned that home is a wonderful laboratory for cultivating honor. My hope is that the culture of honor we create will spill over into the culture around us. I believe our world today is thirsty for honor.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!