8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “She Fights for Him”

by Marilynn Chadwick

Deep within the heart of every good woman lives a warrior. Her fierce love can make even the most timid woman do courageous things. Watch out for a woman who is fighting for someone she loves. I have discovered that honoring my husband in today’s culture requires me to fight for him.

We have an enemy. Not just of our soul, but also of our marriage. In addition to waging a war with the devil, our battle for a strong marriage is also against our own selfish tendencies. Sometimes the best way to fight to honor our husbands is by going against the grain of our flesh. As I do this, I resist a worldly mindset that degrades and disrespects marriage.

My friend Ange is from Rwanda. Gentle and soft-spoken, Ange is a shining example of a woman who honored her husband by fighting for him.

Ange was in high school when the horrific Rwandan genocide broke out in 1994. She and Emanuel fled on foot. Soldiers attacked their refugee camp. Ange and Emanuel got separated as they ran for their lives. She searched frantically for him, hiding in the forest with no clean water, food, or shelter.

Ange made her way to Kenya. She looked everywhere for Emanuel. Eventually she enrolled in Bible college while she continued her search. For eight years! Even her closest friends tried to persuade Ange to accept that Emanuel was dead—and to remarry.

But Ange sensed the Holy Spirit was whispering to keep on fighting and to believe that Emanuel was still alive. Her lifeline became, “We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame” (Romans 5:3-5).

While listening to a radio program which helped find missing family members after the war, she heard the amazing news that Emanuel was alive. “It was like a dream!” she exclaimed. “I stayed up all night praising and thanking God!” After eight long years, Ange and Emanuel were finally reunited—all because of a wife who kept fighting for her husband.

I can best fight for my husband and honor our marriage most powerfully by fighting my flesh and by interceding for him in prayer. Choose to do the same. The fight is worth it!

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “To Honor is to Give My Best”

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Let the wife see that she respects her husband”  (Ephesians 5:33).

I have been inspired by what the Bible teaches us about honor. As a result, I have tried to be more intentional about showing honor to David. However, I’ve come face to face with an important realization: Honor demands far more from me than simply submission.

Please understand. I fully appreciate submission in marriage as part of the biblical framework of love and respect. But to truly honor my husband, I have to set the bar much higher than submission. Honor requires self-sacrifice. Humility. It challenges me to bridle not just my words, but also my thoughts. It makes me bite my tongue. Honor confronts me with my sin. It forces me to see everything that gets in the way of me giving my best.

I can choose to build up my husband or to break him down. This plays out with the words I speak to him and the words I speak about him. I must use my words to encourage his leadership to flourish within our family.

For example, the words I speak to our children influence what they think about their dad. Same with outsiders. Careless words can tarnish his reputation in the eyes of others. Proverbs 14:1 reminds us that a wise woman “builds her house,” but a foolish one “tears it down.” As wives, we sometimes forget the weight our words carry.

Showing respect is vital to any healthy marriage. But when it comes to honoring our husbands, it helps to understand that no two marriages or men are exactly alike. Words and actions that make my husband feel honored and respected might go right over the head of your husband. But this truth is consistent, if I want to honor David, I have to become honorable myself. Same holds true for you. So in this way, honor conforms all of us to the image of Christ. Honor requires a strong walk with the Lord. I guess you could say that to truly honor my husband, I must give my best to cultivate a heart of honor.

Honor, even more than submission, is an imposing benchmark. It’s a sublimely powerful target. For if I take aim and hit the bullseye of honor, I am probably covering all the other virtues that make for a strong marriage. Honor him by giving him your best!

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “Believe the Best”

by Marilynn Chadwick

Honor may be best expressed through word and deed, but it begins in my mind. What I think about my husband determines whether my words and actions will honor him. In fact, what we believe about our husbands can make or break our marriages.

We must believe the best.

For me, this means that as a wife, I value and respect David, believing in him even more than he believes in himself. I can choose how I think about my husband. Either with a lens of criticism and cynicism or with a lens of respect and honor. Do I respect him? Appreciate him? Do I focus on his strengths and downplay his weaknesses? Do I take time to reflect on the many ways he sacrifices for our family? Am I there for him to support and strengthen him, especially when he feels weak? In short, am I thankful for him?

Over the years, I’ve noticed a common theme in the marriages I’ve grown to admire. The spouses seem to be intentional about interpreting each other in a positive light. The wives speak about their husbands with respect. The husbands find ways to honor their wives. It’s clear they treasure and appreciate their partner. In short, they believe the best about each other, and it shows.

Turns out there’s some research to back up this observation. Author and longtime Gallup poll associate Marcus Buckingham surveyed thousands of married couples to discover the traits at the core of good marriages. He found something intriguing. The common thread running through happy marriages was this: In the most successful marriages, each partner rated the other person higher than that person rated him or herself.

Choose to honor. Make the intentional decision to be transformed by renewing your mind (Romans 12:2). Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Believe the best about your husband and watch as honor increases in your marriage.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!