A Legacy of Honor: Whatever Happened to Honor? (Part 2 of 4)

by Marilynn Chadwick

…continued from yesterday

Whatever happened to honor?

Honor is a topic that has either been grossly overvalued to the point where people are demanded to treat other humans as demi-gods or it has been undervalued to the point where disrespect and disdain is casual, flippant, and normalized.

I don’t know about you, but I can tell when honor is missing. To be disrespected or dishonored in some cultures around the world is so insulting that it’s grounds for fighting. Some even justify the use of violence to defend one’s honor or the honor of one’s family. What started out as an urban slang expression for disrespect, “diss,” has become so common as to transcend culture or age. Most any child can tell you what it means to diss somebody, or worse yet, to be dissed.

Sadly, we live in a time when dishonor is so common that it feels almost normal. Over the years, I’ve noticed that honor, especially in marriage, seems to be disappearing. More than once I’ve overheard a group of wives criticizing their husbands to each other. Sort of a group-gripe fest. And why not? It’s open season on men these days. You don’t have to watch television or movies too long before you see an example of “man bashing.” I find this trend disturbing.

Maybe it’s because I live with a servant-hearted husband who is not only the love of my life, but also my best friend. Perhaps it’s because I have two grown sons and a son-in-law, all of whom are honorable young men. Or maybe it’s because I grew up with a wonderful dad. For whatever reason, I’m bothered by how trendy it has become over the years to diss men, especially husbands and fathers. Seems like we’ve gotten too cool to appreciate the good guys anymore.

I want my life to help restore the legacy of honor…

…to be continued tomorrow.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

A Legacy of Honor: Whatever Happened to Honor? (Part 1 of 4)

by Marilynn Chadwick

My new friend began our conversation quite innocently by asking me to pray for her marriage. We were both young wives adjusting to life in a new city. I didn’t know her very well, but over the next few minutes, I would learn way more than I wanted to know about her personal life. And about her husband. She launched into a litany of all the ways he had disappointed her. She then proceeded to describe in detail how far short he fell in her eyes as a man. Before too many minutes had passed, this poor guy began to fall short in my eyes as well.

Many years have come and gone since that conversation. So why do I still remember it so well? Well, for one thing, I never could quite look at that guy in the same way again. His reputation, at least from my end, had been damaged by his wife’s words. I made a mental note to myself to never, ever talk so casually to someone else about my husband’s shortcomings. And I tried not to be on the receiving end of that kind of toxic spill again.

Now please don’t get me wrong. It’s not that David and I don’t have our own flaws or that we’ve never struggled in our marriage. We’re human too. Marriage is hard work and forces us to come to grips with our sin and selfishness like nothing else. No doubt, there are times in life when it may be appropriate to share your marriage struggles with a good friend or a wise counselor. But it was the disrespectful picture that my friend had painted of her husband that felt so wrong. So dishonoring.

And because this is a series on honor, I’ve been taking a long, hard look at the whole concept of honor and its importance in marriage and in our culture in general. Honor can be defined as the “value or worth we give to someone because of their good quality or character.” Honor conveys dignity, honesty, and integrity. To honor someone is to treat that person with admiration or respect.

Over the next two weeks, let’s dig into this important topic of honor together…

…to be continued tomorrow.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “The Training Wheels of Honor”

By Marilynn Chadwick

Honor is not a subject you hear much about these days. If anything, we've become much more accustomed to disrespect and dishonor. The urban slang for disrespect, or “dis,” has made its way into everyday language. Most any child can tell you what it means to “dis” someone. Or worse, to be “dissed.”

Honor. Simply put, the word means to treat someone with respect or admiration. It has to do with qualities like honesty, integrity and dignity. The biblical version of honor is much weightier. Lofty. It speaks to the precious worth of the person being honored and is related to words like glory, worship or prize.

Most of us yearn to be treated with respect. We benefit not only from receiving honor but also from giving it to others. God set the bar low so that even a child can show honor. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:2,3). You might call this the “the training wheels of honor” (Exodus 20:12).

When children honor their earthly parents, they begin to grasp what it means to honor their heavenly Father. Perhaps it’s time to recapture this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. But let's do so with a sense of expectancy. For God Himself makes this bold promise: “Those who honor me, I will honor” (1 Samuel 2:30).

In Genesis 2:18, God created us to be our husband’s helper, or ezer, a source of rock-like strength and support. But we can also choose to use that ezer strength to work against our husband, robbing him of strength and confidence.

I’ve wondered whether we’ve lost sight of the importance of respect. Perhaps a lack of honor could be at the core of many divorces.

Honor doesn’t just happen. It goes against the grain of our culture. Disrespect, on the other hand, takes very little energy. It’s the path of least resistance. Honor is a narrow road. It requires strength and intentionality.

I’ve never forgotten this tidbit of common-sense wisdom from a dear friend who had been married for over sixty years. It went something like this: “Don’t be afraid to be the one who loves the most.” The same could be said of honor. Don’t be afraid to be the one who honors the most.

As we have been learning to honor our husbands and restore honor in the home, I want to leave you with this challenge. Dare to take the first step by honoring your husband even before he honors you.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!