8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “The Lost Art of Honor”

by Marilynn Chadwick

“I don’t enjoy going to lunch with my work friends anymore,” my young friend confided over coffee. “The conversation always turns into husband bashing.” Her own marriage wasn’t perfect, she admitted. “I’m a very transparent person,” she smiled. “So I try to be real. But I don’t want to dishonor my husband. And I want my friends to know I truly love being married to him.”

As we talked, she came to the conclusion that it was okay for her to be honest with her friends about some of her own marriage struggles. She could share a few of the positive ways she and her husband have discovered to work through their issues. But she resolved to do this in a manner that would honor both Christ and her husband.

I loved my friend’s heart for her husband and for the Lord. Knowing her as I do, she’ll be a winsome witness to her friends about what it means to have a godly marriage. And more importantly, what it means to follow Christ.

That conversation was just one of many I’ve had with women of all ages while writing Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. I yearn to help wives reclaim the lost art of honoring their husbands.

Perhaps it’s time to take a fresh look at this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. “Those who honor me, I will honor” (1 Samuel 2:30). Then, let’s explore practical ways to honor our husbands. Remember, the world is watching us. And deep down, I believe they’re thirsty for honor—especially honor in marriage.

The tone I set in our home when I honor my husband inspires our children to honor him and each other. It feels good to get respect. To be honored. But it also feels incredibly good to honor someone else.

We find that as we give honor, we get it back. But giving honor, especially in a world which has largely forgotten this concept, doesn’t come easy. It takes practice. I’ve learned that home is a wonderful laboratory for cultivating honor. My hope is that the culture of honor we create will spill over into the culture around us. I believe our world today is thirsty for honor.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “Dream Big Together”

by Marilynn Chadwick

Dream big together! It’s the next tip for learning to honor our husbands.

I honor my husband when I share his dreams. When I work to help him accomplish his dreams, my dreams are also fulfilled. Not too long into our marriage, I realized that God’s economy is different from mine. When doing things God’s way, I often get back the very thing I give away. I help David reach his goals and dreams. Then he helps me reach mine. A wonderful rhythm develops. A mutuality.

Together, we’ve also learned that when we give our life away, especially to the lost and broken of this world, God pours grace and honor back into our own lives.

As you dream big and pursue adventure together, you often find heroes in the most unlikely places. Ordinary people living quiet, faithful lives—in my book, these are the real heroes.

A while back, David and I adventured to our nation’s capital. We met with influential men and women faithfully serving our country. We took tours of the capitol, awed by the courageous faith of our Founding Fathers. Their names are written in history—their impact will last for generations.

But for me, the real hero showed up—of all places—in a taxi cab. Our driver was a gentle, friendly man with an east African accent. I noticed the prominent cross on his dashboard. He talked about his 33 years driving a cab. His three kids had all graduated from fine colleges, he boasted, with that dad-kind-of-pride. All had prestigious jobs working in DC.

“You must have done some pretty good parenting,” I commented. “What’s your secret?” “My secret,” he laughed, “is America.” “In America, if you’re willing to work hard, you can reach your dream.”

“There are some who might disagree,” I replied. “Hmmm,” he paused, “then they have never lived in another country.” See, he had fled the severe persecution of Christians in Eritrea. He went on to say quietly, “People here don’t know what it’s like to not have freedom.”

When he was a much younger man, he had been educated as an accountant back in Eritrea. But since coming to America, he has worked as a cab driver. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year. He was well past his prime.

As David and I were on our own adventure as a result of dreaming big together, I knew we'd been with a true hero that day. Someone who dreamed big and provided freedom for his family. And a man of honor.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “Wage Peace”

by Marilynn Chadwick

Peace is a priority in our home. A peaceful home refreshes and blesses the family.

Today’s world is busy and noisy. How can I lighten my husband’s load and his heart? Help him have fun? I’ve learned that simple habits, like taking a day off together each week, honor him by allowing him to be refreshed. We’re also intentional about family vacations. Doing so has allowed us to sustain our busy schedules. We find we can then return to the fray strengthened and with renewed enthusiasm.

But sometimes, peace doesn’t come without a fight. If I’m serious about “waging peace,” it helps to know my enemy. You know what I have found is the quickest way to rob peace in the home? Worry. Anxiety can drain my energy and quench calm faster than just about anything. What’s more, it’s contagious. When the kids were small, if I became worried, they seemed to absorb my anxiety and become fretful.

Worry is also exhausting. I agree with a friend who coined this acronym for W-O-R-R-Y: Worry Only Robs Rest from You. Worry says loud and clear that I don’t trust God. But when I refuse to be anxious, when I trust God and remain peaceful, I create a climate of peace.

I have to confess I grew up as a world-class worrier. There were times early in our marriage when fear held me in its grip. Fear of storms, fear of intruders, fear of illness, fear of flying. You name it—I probably wrestled with it.

But I’ve learned to be ruthless. Through the promises in God’s Word, lots of prayer, and putting my faith into action, I have wrestled most of my fears to the ground. I’m not completely worry-free, but I can tell you I no longer feel like a prisoner to fear.

These twin invaders, fear and anxiety, can wreak havoc on a home and a marriage. God doesn’t treat fear and worry as small things. He tells us to cast all your anxiety on him “because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

He commands us to “have no fear.” To “be anxious for nothing” (Philippians 4:6 NKJV).  As with any stubborn problem, the first step is to confront anxiety head-on and call it out for the enemy that it is. We may find that our repentance is soon followed by times of refreshing and revival.  And a peace that passes all understanding!

Wage peace in the home! Don’t worry! Or as I would tell my daughter Bethany as she was growing up, “It’d be better to be dead than to live in dread.” I think this fight for peace honors our husbands, and makes life more fun in the process.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!