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  • Writer's pictureDavid and Marilynn Chadwick

Good Grief: As Needed, Grieve Openly

by David Chadwick


Good grief! No, really, don’t get frustrated. Grief really can be good. If Romans 8:28 is true, that God works ALL things together for our good, then even grief can be worked together for our good and for his glory.


Recognize grief is real. Grieve with trusted friends and/or family. And today? Grieve openly!


It is so important not to isolate yourself from a strong, biblical community. And please don’t stuff your feelings. Get them out! Find someone who can help guide you through your feelings.


Oftentimes, a really healthy friend who loves you and loves Jesus can give you the wisdom, insight, support and presence needed to process openly. Sometimes people need a wisely trained, biblical pastoral counselor to talk through the depth of pain and that’s okay, too. 


Just remember. When you stuff things deep inside of you, the emotions just stir within. Eventually, they will fester to the point of sickness. 


1 Thessalonians 5:18 teaches that we are body, soul, and spirit. When our soul, which is our mind, will, and emotions, becomes unhealthy or embittered or continually negative, our soul begins to fester and it can eventually hurt our bodies. Bitterness can cause things like arthritis, muscle and joint pain, etc. It has actually been proven by health professionals in the medical world that negative emotions can hurt our bodies.


If you are a friend walking with you through grief, here is a great question to ask the one grieving: How is your heart? After you ask them this, let them talk. Don’t try to fix them, correct them or teach them. Just let them speak and process their emotions. It’s a healthy and loving thing to do. A way to love your friend in Christ (John 13:34-35).


Also, get the one grieving to remember and talk about joyous times with the person they’ve lost. Warm memories help heal a broken heart.


After you become comfortable with openly processing your grief, begin to take small steps to put joy in your life. Do things you love to do. This is so important. Finding joy, even in ever so small ways, is crucial to becoming strong again.


You will make it through your grief. You’ll never be the same. But you will have experienced good grief.

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