Kindness Under Fire: She Teaches with Kindness

by Marilynn Chadwick

A woman of valor who can find?...The teaching of kindness is on her tongue (Proverbs 31:10,26 JPS).

Disney got it right. The scariest villains are often women. Think about it. Cinderella’s wicked stepmother overworked the poor girl and locked her in an attic before she was finally rescued by her handsome prince. The evil Maleficent cast her jealous spell on Sleeping Beauty. Snow White battled a wicked queen who was envious of her beauty. And don’t forget Cruella De Vil [cruel devil] who kidnapped an entire litter of Dalmatian puppies, intending to use their fur to make into coats.

Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, whose famed fairy tales actually had to be sanitized before they were suitable for children, were said to have portrayed a few mothers as villains. But the public outcry against mothers mistreating their own children forced the Grimm brothers to recast the mothers as evil stepmothers instead.

When I was a small child, the wicked woman that terrified me most—hands down—was the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. Years later, I can still hear that green-faced, old witch cackling, “My Little Pretty” as she taunts her captive, Dorothy.

A woman devoid of what Shakespeare called “the milk of human kindness” is a fearsome creature—especially to a child. Maybe that’s because as children, we instinctively open our hearts to women. From birth, we’re trained to look to our mothers for nurture and protection.

Kindness is central to the Proverbs 31 “virtuous women,” better translated, “woman of valor.” “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26 ESV). A woman of valor is not only kind; she “teaches others to be kind” (verse 26 ICB).

The simple dictionary definition of kindness points to words such as “gentle or considerate.” But the Bible gives kindness a much stronger meaning. Kindness is listed among the fruit of the Holy Spirit that are present in the life of a believer (Galatians 5:22). The Greek word chrestos, translated “kindness,” is described as a “grace that pervades one’s whole nature” and is the opposite of harshness or severity. Christ’s yoke, or what he asks us to do, is chrestos, having nothing harsh or galling about it (Matthew 11:30).

Looking at the full portrait of the Proverbs 31 woman, we see that her kindness only adds to her strength. She is both leader and teacher. She speaks words of wise instruction to her family and others. But her leadership is always wrapped in kindness.

God created women to be strong and kind—part warrior and part nurturer. From Creation, he designed the woman to be the helper, or ezer—a source of rock-like support for her husband (Genesis 2:18). God equipped us with courage and strength. But he has added to that strength by making us capable of being kind and sharing that kindness with those around us.

Our Kindness Under Fire series is adapted from Woman of Valor by Marilynn Chadwick. Click here for more inspiration or to order a copy of Woman of Valor.