Our Favorite Proverbs: Laughing at our Fears, Proverbs 31:25

by Marilynn Chadwick

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

Proverbs 31:25

One of the things I love most about my husband David is the way he would always encourage our three children to laugh at the very things they were afraid of. He referred to their fears as “fret flies.” He used to say that fear and worry attract the devil, just like honey attracts flies. I’ve never forgotten those words.

I’ve always been glad David is not a worrier. But that doesn’t mean he’s unaware of danger. He just doesn’t overthink imaginary scenarios. What’s more, he doesn’t spend needless energy looking back at the “if onlys” or ahead to the “what ifs” of life.

Like any pastor, he’s had to deal with all kinds of tragedies and emergencies throughout our years of ministry. But I’ve seen firsthand how his faith has strengthened him. I’ve often told him that the greatest gift he has to give others is his faith. And sometimes his laughter! When our daughter was very young, she struggled with various troubling fears. I leaned into David’s strengths to help her learn to overcome these early fears by finding ways to laugh.

One evening, our family went to an amusement park. She was especially scared of riding the Ferris wheel. David challenged her to conquer her fear and told her he would ride with her. With Daddy cheering her on, she was overjoyed to finally defeat another “fret fly!”

Every time she would defeat another fear, her courage muscles would grow stronger and stronger. Eventually, she became my child who would fly all over the world by herself and fearlessly tackle all sorts of challenges.

If you are a parent, I would encourage you to be careful about coddling your children’s fears. The Bible tells us not to fear over and over again. This is a discipline that must be developed from a young age. Like learning to walk or learning to ride a bike, we all must learn to conquer fear.

David really is right. It is incredibly liberating to laugh in the face of fear. Laughter is a healthy way to lighten up. I wonder if the secret to having such strong faith in the Lord is that we really can laugh at our fears. Like our young daughter battling her fears, we may discover greater joy than we ever thought possible when we conquer our “fret flies!”

Our Favorite Proverbs: He Will Make Your Paths Straight, Proverbs 3:5-6

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

When I became a follower of Jesus many years ago, I was intrigued to notice how the words in the Bible suddenly made sense to me. What I had dismissed as a “dead book” in my early twenties suddenly came to life.

Two verses that became anchor verses for me over the years are found in Proverbs 3:5-6. They promised that if I would trust God, something very new for me at the time, and not lean on my understanding, he would direct my paths. Since I had leaned heavily on my own mind and problem-solving ability, this was a radical shift.

The Bible challenged me not only to trust God but also to depend upon his mind. The promise that followed was powerful: He would direct my path, my “way of life.” Moving from an unbeliever to a devoted follower of Jesus was a huge adjustment. So, I memorized these and other Bible verses as I continued to immerse myself in God’s Word.

Fast forward to more than a decade later when we finally had our children. As our three children grew, I was passionate about helping them understand God’s Word from the earliest days. I would find verses that were easy to memorize and make up simple songs to go with them. I happened to ask my now grown son the other day if he could remember Proverbs 3:5-6. I had to laugh when he immediately sang the verses, complete with hand motions to go with them:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight!” He knew the verses by heart. And I’d like to think he has applied them over the years when he faced decisions or needed wisdom. I know I have.

But here’s the thing. Since I have hidden these words in my heart (Psalm 119:11), they are ready and available whenever I need them. Just the other day, I was talking with a young technician trying to solve our internet issue. When he finished, we struck up a conversation. Turns out he was trying to decide about whether to make a career change that would involve a big move. I casually quoted these verses from Proverbs and explained how I’ve turned to them when needing guidance. He was visibly moved and asked if I would pray for him. I prayed a simple prayer and encouraged him to read Proverbs 3:5-6 on his own. God’s Word is living and active, so you never know. Two short verses from Proverbs may just open the door for this young man to “trust God and lean not on his own understanding.”

Our Favorite Proverbs: Words of Life, Proverbs 14:1

by Marilynn Chadwick

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

Proverbs 14:1 NIV

Did you know that women talk more than men? It’s a proven fact. The average woman speaks about 20,000 words each day to the average man’s 7,000, or nearly three times as many! So if women want to use our words to build our house, we certainly have no shortage of building materials.

As wives, we sometimes forget the weight our words carry. I’ve discovered that one of the most powerful ways to build up my husband, David, is with my words, both the words I speak to him and the words I speak about him. Careless words can easily tarnish our husband’s reputation in the eyes of others.

Proverbs 14:1 reminds us that “the wise woman builds her house,” but a foolish one “tears hers down.” In the Bible, the term “house” is often synonymous with “family.” So when we build up our husbands, we strengthen our family, our “house.”

This principle applies to both men and women. The Bible talks about two kinds of words—words of life and words of death. It repeatedly cautions us about the dangers of the tongue and reminds us that our words have great power for good or evil.

We should pause here to consider that God holds us accountable for the words we speak. Think about it. Families and friendships are broken apart by words. Wars are started with words. Our tongue “sets the whole course of one’s life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell,” according to James 3:6. We are warned that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21 KJV).

So it naturally follows that our words would be some of our most powerful tools for building up or tearing down our marriages. One of my wise young friends with a very strong marriage sums it up this way: “I try to compliment my husband in front of others when he is present, but also when he is absent. In situations where it is tempting to criticize publicly, I try to say nothing and follow up on the conversation when we are at home in private. Then, I choose my words wisely—and above all, prayerfully.

Think about it. Our words can give life and encouragement. Or they can bring death and discouragement. Which will you choose?