Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 16:28, The Dangers of Gossip

by Marilynn Chadwick

“A devious person spreads quarrels. A gossip separates the closest of friends.”

Proverbs 16:28 GW

The Bible mentions the sin of gossip nearly a dozen times. Over half those instances occur in the book of Proverbs.

Previously, I shared how one of my wise young friends is intentional to speak well of her husband when talking to others. “I try to compliment my husband in front of others when he is present, but also when he is absent. In situations where it is tempting to criticize publicly, I try to say nothing and follow up on the conversation when we are at home in private. Then, I choose my words wisely—and above all, prayerfully.”

The Bible cautions us about the seriousness of harming someone’s reputation, warning us to “slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone” (Titus 3:2 NIV). The word translated “slander” is the Greek term blasphemeo. It comes from two words—blapto, which means “to injure,” and pheme, or “speech.” It can be translated as “to hurt another’s reputation through slur or insult.”

The Anglicized version, “blasphemy,” is often used to describe the offense of speaking abusively against God. But it also addresses speaking against others. “For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly” (Mark 7:21-22).

Let’s look at three more examples of Proverbs wisdom regarding gossip:

• “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much” (Proverbs 20:19)

• “Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down” (Proverbs 26:20).

• “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts” (Proverbs 26:22).

In the New Testament, Paul warns the church at Corinth: “I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish...that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder” (2 Corinthians 12:20).

It’s sobering to see gossip and slander right up there with what we might consider “more serious” offenses. That should make us think twice when we are tempted to speak ill of another person—especially a fellow believer.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 15:18, This Hinders Prayer

by Marilynn Chadwick

“A hot-tempered person stirs up strife, but one who is slow to anger calms a quarrel.”

Proverbs 15:18 TLV

Faith in Jesus is serious business. But God’s Word also calls us to a type of “faith” in each other as members of the body of Christ. Scripture warns us that to “break faith” with one another can greatly impede our prayers.

Ancient Israel had broken faith with each other and then cried out to God, wondering why he was displeased with them. The prophet Malachi accuses them of covering God’s altar with “tears, with weeping and with sighing, because he no longer looks at the offering or receives your gift with favor” (Malachi 2:13 CJB). “Don’t we all have the same father?” he continues. “Didn’t one God create us all? Then why do we break faith with each other, profaning the covenant of our ancestors?” (Malachi 2:10).

Next, Malachi addresses their marriages: “The Lord is witness between you and the wife of your youth that you have broken faith with her, though she is your companion, your wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:13, 14 CJB). Breaking faith is serious business in God’s eyes. “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel...” (Malachi 2:16 NIV 1984).

Peter seizes upon this connection between marital harmony and answered prayer, exhorting believing husbands and wives to treat each other in a godly way as “heirs together of the gracious gift of life” (1 Peter 3:7 NIV). “Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7). Enkopt, translated “hinder,” comes from the idea of cutting or striking. It conveys a strong interruption or stoppage. Marital strife can literally derail answered prayer.

Malachi gives us a practical prescription to protect both our marriages and our relationships with fellow believers: “So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth” (Malachi 2:15b NIV 1984).

And again, regarding fellow believers, he says, “So guard yourself and do not break faith” (v. 16b). The word translated “guard” means “to keep, preserve, protect; to keep watch.” Let’s be mindful and prayerful, therefore, to guard against strife in our marriages, our families, and our church family. I wonder if we’d keep a closer watch on ourselves if we truly believed that strife hinders prayer.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 4:25-26, Fight Forward

by Marilynn Chadwick

"Let your eyes look forward; fix your gaze straight ahead. Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established."

Proverbs 4:25-26 CSB

The book of Proverbs is filled with tips on how to persevere as we pursue a dream or fight through a trial. James, sometimes called “The Proverbs of the New Testament,” gives us similar encouragement: "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life" (James 1:12 ESV).

But let’s face it. Waiting is hard! "How do I hold onto my hopes and dreams when God seems silent?" This question came from a sincere follower of Christ. How do we handle those times when we have prayed and prayed, but the answer is so slow in coming? Perhaps we sense that a particular dream is God's plan for us. But the days, weeks, months, and even years go by. How do we keep our dream alive? How do we learn to wait well?

I think back to what I refer to as my season of "wait training." In our early years of marriage, David and I looked forward to the day we would have children. But nothing happened, month after month. Months became years, and by the end of the fourth year, waiting had become a way of life. I hovered between my dream of having a child and the dailiness of living life well in the moment. But I wanted my life to count, even while I waited.

I decided to get my master’s degree in counseling and spent time working in vulnerable communities. I later worked at a Crisis Pregnancy Center with young women caught in problem pregnancies. An infertile woman trying to have a baby caring for women who didn’t want to be pregnant? It was an odd assignment, but strangely healing. I used to remark that I was like a recovering alcoholic serving drinks at a bar—surrounded by that which I could not have.

During this time, a door was opened for David and me to go on a short-term missions trip. My first trip to Africa would be our first of many short-term missions experiences. Even after our children finally came, this lesson remained etched in my mind: When you are hurting, fight forward.

We eventually partnered with organizations delivering aid, education, and hope on six continents. Some say we should live to give. I discovered that I could give to live.

I would sometimes pray, “Lord, I’m entrusting my business into your hands. While you are caring for my business, I will put my hands to work on your business.” Even today, fighting forward never fails to fill and heal my own soul as I give hope to someone else.