How to Honor Your Wife: Respect Her Opinion

by David Chadwick

We husbands are often “Captain Oblivious” with our wives. We live disconnected from them. They often have insights that could help us in many different areas. They are often transmitting signals to us. But, like radio waves needing a transmitter for sounds to be heard, we don’t have our transmitters turned on. And if they are on, we have our dials set just a few numbers away from their signals. We only hear garbled gurgles and static sounds.

We husbands need to learn from our wives. We need to seek and respect their opinions. This respect comes more easily when we know them well.

Through the years, I’ve learned four different ways to know Marilynn well. They have helped me hear her transmissions. They have aided me in seeking her input. They have allowed me to clearly discern what she may be feeling and how I can digest what she may be trying to say to me. I know she has my best interests at heart. I know she wants my best. I know she desires my success. If so, and we are one flesh, wouldn’t it be wise for me to learn better how to know her well?

These four ways are encapsulated in the acronym S-E-A-L. Think of them as ways to “seal the deal” with your wife—ways to know her well.

After all, the better you know her, the more you’ll value her opinion. And the closer you will become. She will feel honored. And when you finally seal the deal, the two of you truly become one—which is God’s goal for all marriages. Here it is:

S—Study her life

E—Empathize with her

A—Ask for her opinion

L—Listen to what she says

I would imagine that several things on my list are also on yours. I’d also imagine that you’d have other items that I don’t have. What’s on the list isn’t nearly as important as the fact that there is a list. Just make sure you have one.

We husbands need to S-E-A-L the deal. Study your wife. Empathize with her. Ask and respect her opinions. Listen to what she says. Doing so will help you to know her well. It will prove your desire to honor her.

And the two of you become more and more one flesh.

This series is adapted from David Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Wife: Encourage Her Gifts

by David Chadwick

We accepted the call to our first church in 1980. For our first year in ministry, Marilynn told me she wanted to get our home secure and learn what it’s like to be a preacher’s wife. Fortunately, the wonderful people of that church never placed any expectations upon her. They simply wanted her to be her!

That’s what she did. She was always by my side, as a gracious wife and helper. In those early years, when this church was small, we were everything from the youth leaders to pastoral counselors to Bible teachers to prayer leaders. We were involved in everything that went on in the church—mostly because we had to be.

Yet I knew that underneath her servant’s heart laid a greatly gifted woman of God—gifted in ways I wasn’t. I knew she had much to offer the world. She had already sacrificed much to follow me. Therefore, I wanted to encourage her gifts, passions, and goals in life.

Encouraging Marilynn’s gifts was all about releasing her God-given potential. As her husband, her life partner in marriage, I was in a better position than anyone else to make that happen.

Have you ever thought about that as well—that you as a husband are the one person who is most able to encourage your wife’s gifts? God has gifted her in special ways—in fact, she’s gifted in areas that you aren’t. God brought you two together because he knew you could help bring the best out of each other.

Biblically, husbands are called to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25). In my opinion, one of the best ways you can demonstrate the love of Jesus to your wife is to help her launch her gifts.

Here is one final point of advice: As you encourage your wife to discover her passions, try to find those areas in which you share similar giftedness. When you do, if possible, try to find ministry and service opportunities you can do together. These experiences will draw you closer like nothing else—just like the mission trips that Marilynn and I do together.

I pray you will encourage your wife to discover and use her unique gifts. I pray especially you’ll be able to find mutual areas of giftedness through which you can serve together. That will especially help to draw you closer together. And make you one.

This series is adapted from David Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Wife: Be a Man of God

by David Chadwick

Dudley Do-Right was a cartoon character. Regularly, he bumbled and fumbled his way toward heroic success. Often after he’d delivered the damsel in distress, she would coyly sigh and say to him, “My hero.”

Some might suggest that the saved damsel’s praise of Dudley’s heroism is misogynistic drivel. I don’t think so. I think most women yearn for their husbands to be heroes. They want to believe their husbands are willing to sacrificially die for them as Jesus did for the church (Ephesians 5:25).

That’s true love—not some syrupy, ever-changing feeling, but the willingness to die so the other can live. Jesus said there is no greater love than that of laying down one’s life for another (John 15:13). This type of self-effacing, sacrificial heroism enhances the wife’s respect toward her husband. And respect is what a man longs for from his wife (Ephesians 5:33).

Similarly, she yearns to see his heroism take strong stands. She wants to see him as a mighty, ferocious warrior, dressed for battle, someone doggedly fighting for truth, justice, goodness, fairness, and righteousness.

These strong stands may be reflected in a stand for all life—in and outside the womb. Or perhaps it’s a commitment against sex trafficking. Or maybe it’s being an outspoken advocate for racial equality. Or perhaps it’s a dogged stand for justice for the disenfranchised and marginalized in our world. Maybe it’s working to ensure all have clean water and food. Or perhaps it’s a desire to reach the world for Christ.

Wives hunger for husbands who are heroes. These kinds of strong convictions honor our wives. They solidify respect in their hearts.

I’m convinced that heroism, humility, forgiveness, and bridled power are some of the character traits most wives desire from their husbands. When carried out, they honor the wife. And that, in turn, increases the wife’s respect for her husband. The end result is a greater oneness between them.

Husbands, be a man of God. Pursue his heart. And watch your wife’s respect for you grow and grow.

This series is adapted from David Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!