How to Honor Your Husband: The Training Wheels of Honor

by Marilynn Chadwick

Honor is not a subject you hear much about these days. If anything, we've become much more accustomed to disrespect and dishonor. The urban slang for disrespect, or “dis,” made its way into everyday language. Most any child can tell you what it means to “dis” someone. Or worse, to be “dissed.”

Honor. Simply put, the word means to treat someone with respect or admiration. It has to do with qualities like honesty, integrity and dignity. The biblical version of honor is much weightier. Even lofty. It speaks to the precious worth of the person being honored and is related to words like glory, worship or prize.

Most of us yearn to be treated with respect. We benefit not only from receiving honor but also from giving it to others.

God set the bar low so that even a child can show honor. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:2,3 NIV) (Exodus 20:12). You might call this the “the training wheels of honor.”

When children honor their earthly parents, they begin to grasp what it means to honor their heavenly Father.

Perhaps it’s time to recapture this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. But let's do so with a sense of expectancy. For God himself makes this bold promise: “Those who honor me, I will honor” (1 Samuel 2:30).

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Husband: If You Want to Be Strong, Abide

by Marilynn Chadwick

A young mom once asked me if there was anything I’d do differently if I were just starting out in my marriage. After giving it some thought, I responded that I’d be even more intentional about abiding in Christ. I’ve come to believe that abiding—developing an ongoing connection with the Lord—is the secret to lasting strength in marriage.

A while back, my husband David made a comment that got me thinking. “I really like it that you’re not needy,” he said. “I can tell you’re not looking to me for your identity.” He went on to say, “Because of your relationship with the Lord, you come to our marriage with a full cup. I know you’re not going to drain me dry.” I’m intrigued that his comment sticks out in my mind all these years later.

I’ve thought further about what he said. David knows my weaknesses better than anyone. He has walked me through more fears and more tears than I can count. And yet, he still considers me strong. Perhaps he sees strength in me that I don’t even see in myself. The strength that comes from my relationship with Jesus.

Abiding in Christ is not some magic pill you swallow and then, “Bam, you’re in!” No, it’s a daily process carved out with one foot in front of the other. Even on days I don’t feel like it. Especially on days when I don’t feel like it.

Let’s remember. Everything God created was good. But he looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Something was missing. So God said: "I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18 NIV).

I’ve come to believe that in a very real way, the call to be a strong helper, or ezer, in my marriage is a call to a daily walk with Christ. It’s saying yes when Jesus calls to me to follow him. Yes to honoring my husband. And yes to abiding.

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Husband: Wage Peace

by Marilynn Chadwick

Today’s world is busy and noisy. How can I lighten my husband’s load and his heart? Help him have fun? I’ve learned that simple habits, like taking a day off together each week, honor David by allowing him to be refreshed.

We were also intentional about family vacations. Doing so allowed us to sustain our many years of raising a family and church ministry. We learned we could then return to the fray strengthened and with renewed enthusiasm.

Peace should be a priority in our homes. A peaceful home refreshes and blesses our families. But sometimes, peace doesn’t come without a fight. If we are serious about “waging peace,” it helps to know our enemy.

I’ve discovered that the quickest way to rob peace is through worry. Anxiety can drain my energy and quench calm faster than just about anything. What’s more, it’s contagious. When the kids were small, if I became worried, they seemed to absorb my anxiety and become fretful.

Worry is also exhausting. I agree with a friend who coined this acronym for W-O-R-R-Y: Worry Only Robs Rest from You. Worry says loud and clear that I don’t trust God. But when I refuse to be anxious, when I trust God and remain peaceful, I create a climate of peace.

I have to confess I grew up as a world-class worrier. There were times early in our marriage when fear held me in its grip. Fear of storms, fear of intruders, fear of illness, fear of flying. You name it—I probably wrestled with it.

But I learned to be ruthless. Through the promises in God’s Word, lots of prayer, and putting my faith into action, I wrestled many of my fears to the ground. I’m not completely worry-free, but I can tell you I no longer feel like a prisoner to fear.

These twin invaders, fear and anxiety, can wreak havoc on a home and a marriage. God doesn’t treat fear and worry as small things. He tells us to “cast all our anxiety on him” because he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7 NIV).

He commands us to “be anxious for nothing” (Philippians 4:6 NKJV). As with any stubborn problem, the first step is to confront anxiety head-on. Call it out for the enemy that it is. We may find that our repentance is soon followed by times of refreshing and revival. A peace that passes all earthly understanding. This is what happens when we “wage peace.”

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!