The Madness of Unforgiveness: Forgive God

by David Chadwick

Unforgiveness will make you mad! Both frustrated and crazy!

Yesterday we talked about the need to forgive yourself. Today, I want to talk about how you might need to forgive God.

Now, hold on just a moment. This seems blasphemous, but it’s not. Let me first say this…God can do no wrong. He is infallible and perfect in every way.

However, we come into this world fallible, sinful and broken. Because of that, we can easily carry offenses toward God that he is not responsible for creating, but we may need to throw our burdens back on him and remind ourselves that he is not our offender! Some people spend their entire lives remaining angry toward God for letting something bad happen to them. Part of their healing may be to let God off the hook and “forgive him,” so to speak.

Interestingly, in the Psalms, God never seemed to mind when David expressed his frustration and anger toward God for different events in his life. God is a big God. He can handle our childish temper tantrums. He understands our human emotions. He created us, fashioned us, knit us together in our mother’s wombs (Psalm 139:13).

But after we work out our plethora of emotions with the Lord, there does come a point when we must turn back to faith and not remain in anger. Living in resentment, even/especially toward God, is unhealthy and harmful to us. Faith trusts in God’s providence. We believe that God is working ALL things for our good and his glory—even the painful stuff. That’s the essence of Genesis 50:20 and Romans 8:28.

Release God from any of your unforgiveness. Instead, replace it with a love for God and a faith in his overarching providence. Recognize all he has done for you.

And remember this. One day, in heaven, everything will make sense. We see through a mirror dimly now (1 Corinthians 13:12). But one day, we will see him face to face. And when we do, we will nod in approval and adoration at how he used all for his purposes. And for our good. We must also always remember that what God is doing here has a divine purpose in heaven.

Submit to his heart for your life. He is, after all, a good, good father.

The Madness of Unforgiveness: Forgive Yourself

by David Chadwick

Sometimes the hindrance to forgiveness can loom over your head because of the offender. Other times, you may experience a hindrance because you haven’t learned to forgive yourself.

1 Corinthians 13 says that love does not keep a record of past wrongs. This can certainly refer to those who have hurt you. But it also refers to ourselves when we have done something wrong. We must not keep a list of all the things we have done wrong and ruminate over them in our mind.

In fact, 2 Corinthians 10:5 says to “take every thought captive to obey Christ.” Nothing should take up space in our minds rent free that hasn’t first been submitted to Jesus and filtered through his Word.

In the same way that we are called to forgive others (Luke 6:37), we must forgive ourselves.

This might even be a daily discipline that you have to go through, at least for a season. You might have to wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say something like, “David (you fill in your name), you are covered by the blood of Jesus and forever forgiven. There is absolutely nothing you can do to separate yourself from God’s love. You are not the sum total of your life’s mistakes. Jesus can redeem any situation and make it good. Pick yourself up and walk in your true identity as a son of the Most High God.”

What you say may look a little different, but that should give you an idea of what it looks like to learn forgiveness for yourself!

Satan keeps wanting to remind us of the sins we have committed. Wanting us to believe that our sins are somehow stronger than God’s grace. It’s a lie! Remember what it says in Romans 5:20-21, “Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more!”

I often wonder if this is why Jesus appeared to his disciples behind closed doors after the resurrection. To be with them intimately, in a close setting so that he could remind them to forgive themselves. For betraying him. For running away. For their lack of courage. For only then could they truly obey John 20:21, “As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.”

I believe the disciples had to be unencumbered from all guilt and shame, truly forgiving themselves, in order to be fully used by him in the world in the years to come. And I believe the same holds true for us!

The Madness of Unforgiveness: Are They Hurting You From the Grave?

By David Chadwick

The madness of unforgiveness is plaguing our world. You can see its effects all over the place. Bitterness. Offense. Anger. Rage. Depression. Despair. The enemy loves to take wounds and pain and use it to shut down the strongest of people.

Remember the phrase that bitterness is like drinking arsenic and expecting the other person to die. It’s one of the major ugly roots of unforgiveness and it’s a joy robber!

Think for a moment about some of the people who have hurt you over the years.

Now let me ask you this question: are they hurting you from the grave?

Sadly, bitterness and unforgiveness are so powerful that they can even give people who have died the ability to continue to haunt us and hurt us.

It reminds me of a wasp I once found in my den. I casually took a napkin and grabbed the wasp to throw away. Guess what? Even after I killed it, it still stung me! I couldn’t believe it. And the pain ended up lasting for some time.

The same holds true with unforgiveness. Someone may have already died, but if you try to engage the pain associated with that person without a heart of forgiveness, the offense that took place can still sting you long after that person has died!

Don’t give your wounds this kind of power! Let them go. Release the pain to Jesus. Put the ones who hurt you in God’s hands. In fact, when it comes to your offenders, if they have died, they have already met their Maker and been held accountable for their offenses against you. God is perfectly just. Therefore, let God be God, trusting he will handle them accordingly.

Otherwise, it’s almost like you’re in the grave with them! A prison of death called bitterness.

Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set you free.” Luke 4:1 says, “Jesus came to set the captives free.” Especially from those who have hurt us who are already dead!

Today, choose to throw the wasp away without letting the dead thing sting you and move on to enjoy life to the full.