How to Honor Your Wife: Be a Man of God

by David Chadwick

Dudley Do-Right was a cartoon character. Regularly, he bumbled and fumbled his way toward heroic success. Often after he’d delivered the damsel in distress, she would coyly sigh and say to him, “My hero.”

Some might suggest that the saved damsel’s praise of Dudley’s heroism is misogynistic drivel. I don’t think so. I think most women yearn for their husbands to be heroes. They want to believe their husbands are willing to sacrificially die for them as Jesus did for the church (Ephesians 5:25).

That’s true love—not some syrupy, ever-changing feeling, but the willingness to die so the other can live. Jesus said there is no greater love than that of laying down one’s life for another (John 15:13). This type of self-effacing, sacrificial heroism enhances the wife’s respect toward her husband. And respect is what a man longs for from his wife (Ephesians 5:33).

Similarly, she yearns to see his heroism take strong stands. She wants to see him as a mighty, ferocious warrior, dressed for battle, someone doggedly fighting for truth, justice, goodness, fairness, and righteousness.

These strong stands may be reflected in a stand for all life—in and outside the womb. Or perhaps it’s a commitment against sex trafficking. Or maybe it’s being an outspoken advocate for racial equality. Or perhaps it’s a dogged stand for justice for the disenfranchised and marginalized in our world. Maybe it’s working to ensure all have clean water and food. Or perhaps it’s a desire to reach the world for Christ.

Wives hunger for husbands who are heroes. These kinds of strong convictions honor our wives. They solidify respect in their hearts.

I’m convinced that heroism, humility, forgiveness, and bridled power are some of the character traits most wives desire from their husbands. When carried out, they honor the wife. And that, in turn, increases the wife’s respect for her husband. The end result is a greater oneness between them.

Husbands, be a man of God. Pursue his heart. And watch your wife’s respect for you grow and grow.

This series is adapted from David Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Wife: Trust Her Gut

by David Chadwick

I wish I’d been smarter in this area. If so, I could have avoided a lot of pain. I stupidly ignored this reality. If I could redo one major part of Marilynn’s and my marital life together it would be this one. I’d trust her gut more. I’d honor her intuition.

It’s happened not once, but on multiple occasions. Marilynn sensed something was wrong. Her spiritual antenna was high. It was receiving strong signals. She sensed something unknown. There was an inward, environmental stimulus without any accompanying reason. It caused extreme tightness and discomfort in her stomach area.

She couldn’t explain why she undeniably sensed what she did, but she did. She just knew something wasn’t right. Something was out of whack. Something bad was about to happen. Her gut was twisted and nervous. There was a foreboding something on the horizon. And she was saying to me that I just needed to trust her gut.

Too often I ignored her suggestions and plowed ahead with what I needed to do and thought was best. I’d give a polite nod. Or sometimes I’d argue back, saying she didn’t understand the full picture. Or sometimes I was totally dismissive and I’d say she simply needed to trust me. Looking back, I often ignored her instincts to my own eventual chagrin and demise.

Fortunately, she has seldom poured on guilt by saying, “I told you so.” She’s been gracious when I’ve later acknowledged her wisdom and my folly. But on many occasions I’ve gone to her and simply said, “You were right. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I should have listened to you.” If there is one positive thing that’s come from these excruciating experiences, it’s that I learned great humility.

Again, I wish I’d been smarter. In this area, hindsight truly is 20/20. Some people call it women’s intuition. Others refer to it as a gut instinct. I’m not exactly sure of the appropriate term. But I know it’s true. Women have something inwardly that men don’t have. They receive insights on situations men tend to ignore.

Through the years, I’ve learned that Marilynn is on my side. Like God, she is for me (Romans 8:31). She wants the best for me. She wants me to succeed. She desires for me not to step into stuff that will hinder me. If this is so, I must trust her gut.

This series is adapted from David Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!

How to Honor Your Wife: What Does It Mean to Honor Your Wife?

by David Chadwick

The word honor has become missing in action in the English vocabulary. Oh yes, sadly, we sometimes hear about an “honor killing.” Most often, that’s when a child rejects a certain faith tradition. The father feels he must kill the child for the sake of honor in his home. There is also “honor among thieves.” They still seem to hold the word honor in high esteem. The Boy Scouts still begin their pledge with “On my honor, I will do my duty.” Some schools still emphasize an honor code. But in reality, the word honor isn’t much talked about today.

The importance of the word honor has not been abated in the Bible. Children are to honor their mothers and fathers (Exodus 20:12). Rulers in the government (Romans 13:7) and the elders who preach, teach, and lead the church are to receive a double honor (1Timothy 5:17). Widows who serve others (1 Timothy 5:3) and friends who labor for us (Philippians 2:29) should also be given honor because of their personal importance in our lives. Christians are to honor one another, even above self (Romans 12:10). When Christians behave with honor, it should draw spiritual skeptics toward faith in God (1 Peter 2:12).

And honor is supposed to be given by a husband to his wife (1 Peter 3:7). He is to honor her as one with enormous value. In this verse, Peter says that a wife is to be treated as a “weaker vessel.” I don’t think this idea expresses inferiority at all. I believe Peter used this phrase to

describe a fine, delicate piece of pottery, like porcelain. The wife is supposed to be like a priceless vase in her husband’s hand. He is to treat her with great care and gentle esteem, tenderly showing to her the enormous value she holds in his life.

What does the Bible mean when it tells us to honor our wives? Let me put it in a way our culture can understand. She is a trophy—a person dearly prized. She is the husband’s ultimate, permanent trophy bride! When you look at your wife, you can’t believe she is a part of your life. You consider it a high privilege to be married to her. You want others to know the value she has in your life. You are honored she is your wife.

This series over the next two weeks is a bite-sized overview of a book I wrote called “Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife.” My wife, Marilynn, just completed two weeks of a series entitled “Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband” after the book she wrote. We both are trying to recapture the significance and importance of this word honor—especially in the marriage relationship between a husband and a wife. Join us as we explore God’s design for marriage.

This series is adapted from David Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!