Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 26:17, Don’t Be a Busybody

by Marilynn Chadwick

"Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.”

Proverbs 26:17

My husband, David, recently addressed Proverbs 26:17, but I find it so important that I want to expound upon it again today. Proverbs 26:11 says that if someone repeats their folly, they are fools. So, in an effort to walk in wisdom, let’s look at this concept again.

It is the danger of meddling in another’s affairs, sometimes referring to the sin of being a “busybody.” This kind of intrusion includes entering into someone else’s argument. It doesn’t take much imagination to see how grabbing a “stray dog by the ears,” as described in Proverbs 26:17, will cause us certain pain in the end. Just as a dog will snap at you if you grab its ears, people in a fight will sometimes turn their anger on the person who meddles in their quarrel.

The word “busybody” seems a bit old-fashioned. I’ve always thought of a busybody as a term for the frivolous but rather harmless gossip caricatured in a comedy. But the Bible paints a more serious picture. Scripture warns that being a meddler or busybody comes with its own form of danger, even suffering.

“But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters” (1 Peter 4:15 NKJV). Did you catch that? Being a busybody, or meddler, causes suffering.

Let’s look at a different version of this verse in its context: “If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name (1 Peter 4:15-16 NIV). Life is messy, and sin causes pain. But if we suffer, it shouldn’t be as a murderer or thief. Or even as a busybody.

The New Testament term for “busybody” is defined as “one who oversees that which belongs to another.” Also described as “factious,” the busybody, or meddler, causes trouble for himself or herself and spreads trouble and division to others. That’s why it’s not a minor offense.

Proverbs repeatedly emphasizes the wisdom of avoiding the temptation to stir up strife. It warns that “fools constantly meddle and bring trouble on themselves” (Proverbs 20:3).

Bottom line? Mind your own business! And when you’re tempted to take charge of something that’s not your own, remember the Bible’s warning to avoid the suffering that’s sure to follow. Next time I’m tempted to meddle, I’ll think back to that image of a dog snapping at me and try to resist the temptation to “fix everybody and everything.”

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 16:8, A Common but Dangerous Sin

by Marilynn Chadwick

“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”

Proverbs 16:8 NIV

The Bible mentions gossip and its related behaviors, such as slander, backbiting, and whispering, over 150 times. The sin of gossip is often mentioned alongside more seemingly serious sins, like theft or murder. “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy” (Romans 1:29-32 NIV).

Gossip is pretty serious stuff. The book of Proverbs paints a picture of the dire consequences of gossip and gives ample warnings to avoid its sting: “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:13 NIV).

At its core, gossip is simply another lust of the flesh. And like any lust, gossip can seem temporarily satisfying. “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts” (Proverbs 18:8).

The New Testament strongly warns us about the dangers of gossip. It’s as if gossip is an appetite all its own. "But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another!" (Galatians 5:15 NKJV). This passage is addressed to Christ followers and warns against destructive conflict, gossip, and strife within the church. The solution is found in Galatians 5:16: “Walk in the Spirit and you will not obey the lusts of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16 NIV).

When we follow Jesus, we have the indwelling Holy Spirit. Living by the Holy Spirit’s guidance, or “walking in the Spirit," enables us to overcome sinful, fleshly desires, like the temptation to gossip, rather than giving in to them. This requires continual abiding in Christ and trusting his power within us, rather than simply fighting the temptation through sheer willpower. Remember, the flesh and spirit continually war against one another (Galatians 5:16-17).

When it comes to the sin of gossip, it pays to be alert. To realize temptation can come disguised as a “prayer request” or “verbal processing” with a friend. Walk in the Spirit daily. Keep up your guard. Be alert to the devil’s methods. Don’t use your freedom to “indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:14).

Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Replace gossip with something stronger. Pray. Try fasting from gossip. Take it to the cross. Find accountability with a fellow believer. And remember, love covers a multitude of sins.

Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 31:25, Dress for Success

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Strength and honor are her clothing.”

Proverbs 31:25 CSB

The woman of valor in Proverbs 31:10 (CJB) is also described as a woman of “honor” (v. 25). Throughout the Bible, valor and honor go hand in hand. David's Mighty Men of Valor were an elite group of roughly 37 warriors in the Old Testament (2 Samuel 23, 1 Chronicles 11). They were renowned for exceptional loyalty, strength, valor, and honor.

To honor someone is to treat them with admiration or respect. Honor conveys dignity, honesty, and integrity. Years ago, I wrote an editorial in our local newspaper honoring my husband’s legendary basketball coach, Dean Smith, at his passing. Along with great basketball, Coach Smith taught David about honor. Responses to my article, some from well-known leaders in our community, caused me to wonder if our culture is thirsty for honor. Perhaps it’s because honor is sorely lacking in many of our homes. Marriages are breaking up at an alarming rate. Sadly, the percentage of wives leaving their husbands has risen significantly.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that honoring my husband in today’s culture requires something of a fight. It helps to realize that we have an enemy. Not just of our soul, but also of our marriages. In addition to waging a war with the devil, our battle for a strong marriage is also against our own selfish tendencies. Honoring our husband or wife sometimes goes against the grain of our flesh.

If we truly want to honor our spouse, we’ll find ourselves resisting a world that degrades and disrespects marriage. I’ve learned I can best fight for my husband and honor our marriage most powerfully by interceding for him in prayer. The tone we set in our homes when we honor our husband or wife inspires our children to honor their parents and each other.

It feels good to get respect. To be honored. But it also feels incredibly good to honor someone else. We find that as we give honor, we get it back. But giving honor, especially in a world that has largely forgotten this concept, doesn’t come easy. It takes practice. David and I have written companion books exploring ways this lost art of honor can be reclaimed in our marriages, our families, and our culture.

I believe our world today is thirsty for honor. Honor requires self-sacrifice and humility. I’ve learned that home can be a wonderful laboratory for cultivating honor. My hope is that the culture of honor we create will spill over into the culture around us.

Click here to download a free copy of 8 Great Ways to Honor your Wife by David Chawick and 8 Great Ways to Honor Husband by Marilynn Chadwick.