8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “Believe the Best”

by Marilynn Chadwick

Honor may be best expressed through word and deed, but it begins in my mind. What I think about my husband determines whether my words and actions will honor him. In fact, what we believe about our husbands can make or break our marriages.

We must believe the best.

For me, this means that as a wife, I value and respect David, believing in him even more than he believes in himself. I can choose how I think about my husband. Either with a lens of criticism and cynicism or with a lens of respect and honor. Do I respect him? Appreciate him? Do I focus on his strengths and downplay his weaknesses? Do I take time to reflect on the many ways he sacrifices for our family? Am I there for him to support and strengthen him, especially when he feels weak? In short, am I thankful for him?

Over the years, I’ve noticed a common theme in the marriages I’ve grown to admire. The spouses seem to be intentional about interpreting each other in a positive light. The wives speak about their husbands with respect. The husbands find ways to honor their wives. It’s clear they treasure and appreciate their partner. In short, they believe the best about each other, and it shows.

Turns out there’s some research to back up this observation. Author and longtime Gallup poll associate Marcus Buckingham surveyed thousands of married couples to discover the traits at the core of good marriages. He found something intriguing. The common thread running through happy marriages was this: In the most successful marriages, each partner rated the other person higher than that person rated him or herself.

Choose to honor. Make the intentional decision to be transformed by renewing your mind (Romans 12:2). Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Believe the best about your husband and watch as honor increases in your marriage.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “Are You an Ezer?”

by Marilynn Chadwick

It’s important to understand honor as a biblical concept, shedding light on our God-given roles as husband and wife. In college, I was an atheist with strong feminist leanings. After I became a follower of Christ, it was God’s Word which opened my eyes to His beautiful and somewhat mysterious plan for marriage.

Everything God created was good. But He looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Something was missing. So God said: "I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). God created woman from man—from his same substance: “So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs …Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man…” (Genesis 2:20-24).

Marriage was God’s gift to humanity. Eve was Adam’s companion, but the Bible also calls her his helper. In Hebrew, “helper,” or ezer, means “to support.” It’s a combination of two roots: "to rescue, to save," and "to be strong." The word ezer in the Bible most often refers to God as the helper, usually in times of danger or battle.

Are you an ezer to your husband?

The word ezer is also closely related to the word for rock. I honor David when I’m strong like a rock in my walk with the Lord. Strengthen your heart with the Word of God, prayer, spiritual disciplines, and biblical community. In the process, I hope you’ll see that being a strong woman of God, while also submitting to your husband’s spiritual leadership, go hand in hand. As wives, we respond best to our husbands’ spiritual leadership when we trust God and his design for our marriage.

When you grasp what it means to be an ezer, you begin to get an image of your role as a rock, not a doormat. Your challenge is to become strong so that you are a source of strength for a husband who will sometimes be weak.

I’ve learned that an important part of showing honor to a strong husband like David is to be his “rock of support” when everything around him feels like it's crashing down. Think about what it means to be strong like a “rock” for our husbands, families, and communities. Lord knows we need more women who are willing to live strong as ezers in this hurting and broken world.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “What is Honor?”

by Marilynn Chadwick

What is honor and why is it important? To honor someone is to treat them with admiration or respect. Honor conveys dignity, honesty, and integrity.

Several years ago my husband’s beloved college basketball coach, North Carolina’s legendary Dean Smith, passed away. Next to his own father, David says Coach Smith was the most significant man in his life. Even superstar Michael Jordan called Coach Smith his “second father.” Why? Because along with great basketball, Coach Smith taught his players about life.  

When I first met my basketball player-turned-preacher husband, I was a University of Georgia girl and a die-hard football fan. Basketball, not so much. But I loved David, and I grew to love basketball. Soon after we got married, Coach Smith sent me a handwritten note welcoming me to the “Carolina Family.” He always remembered my alma mater and my college major. He knew our children by name. Seriously. Who does that?

After Coach Smith’s passing, I was able to write an editorial honoring my husband’s legendary basketball coach. Responses to my article, some from well-known leaders in our community, caused me to wonder if our culture is thirsty for honor. Public reaction to Dean Smith’s passing seemed to convey a nostalgic yearning for role models, for dads, for men of honor.

In fact, a prominent defense attorney in our community sent me a handwritten note sharing how his own dad had been such an honorable man. A federal judge and a bank president both weighed in on the subject of honor. Young moms wrote to tell me about their “amazing husbands” and vowed to be more intentional to honor them. Had I touched a nerve?  

Maybe it’s because honor is lacking in our homes. Families today are in trouble. Studies show that 70% of divorces are now initiated by women. Honor was God’s idea in the first place—especially in marriage. No wonder we’re thirsty for this sometimes-forgotten virtue. What would happen if we sparked a movement of honor in our homes, our communities, and our world?

Over the next two weeks, we will explore honor from a biblical point of view; specifically addressing wives. I want to give every wife 8 practical tips on how you can begin to honor your husband and create a culture of honor in your home. My dream is that together, we really could see a movement of honor that would spill over into a hurting and broken world.

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This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!