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  • Writer's pictureDavid and Marilynn Chadwick

Good Grief: Grieve with Friends

by David Chadwick

Grief. Defined as deep sorrow or poignant pain. If you are living, you will inevitably go through grief in your life.

When, not if you go through grief, always remember to grieve with people you love, ones who will point you to Jesus and to hope as you work through your pain. Ask the Lord to show you trustworthy friends and family members who can enter into your grief with you. Don’t do it alone. 

As tempting as it is to wall up your heart and protect yourself in your pain, please don’t isolate yourself! If you do, you’ll brood. You’ll keep thinking about the pain and it will end up driving you deeper and deeper into despair. Eventually, you’ll become depressed.

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you three people who you can trust to help you walk out good grief in your specific situation. These people may be God’s gift to you for one situation of grief, but not for something else. That’s okay. Different people carry different purposes in different seasons.

I remember when my daughter Bethany had a miscarriage. She was grieving so deeply and did not want to talk to anyone who had not also experienced a miscarriage. Her own husband had a hard time consoling her. God brought her a few special people who had miscarried and could specifically speak to her grief. They helped her grieve well and turn her despair into good grief. Over time, she got stronger and stronger. 

When God has called someone to walk with you in grief, they will not grow weary of giving you their ears and counsel. They will listen, cry with you, pray for you, and if necessary, give wisdom. 

Have you ever heard of the phrase social isolation? I would call it isolation sickness! It’s when your isolation produces a loneliness that is so deep it makes you sick. Some say it actually increases your risk of premature death. Genesis 2 makes it abundantly clear that God never designed for man to be alone. He created us for communion with him and community with other people. 

So, grieve with friends. As you do, trust that you are being strengthened in your pain. Eventually, you will feel strong again.

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