Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 12:4

by David Chadwick

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.”

Proverbs 12:4

Excellent is defined as “something possessing outstanding quality, superior merit, or being remarkably good.” Shame, on the other hand, is “a painful emotion driven by the belief that you are fundamentally flawed or unworthy.”

In this verse, God lays out two options of the kind of wife someone can find. Almost like a fork in the road, this verse clearly shows what happens if you go one direction versus another. One direction leads to honor. The other leads to death.

If he chooses poorly, a shameful wife brings rot to a man’s bones. This woman is not just shameful with her words, but also her actions. She does not think before she speaks or acts. She lives solely for herself and makes decisions for her own benefit.

A shameful wife makes decisions through the lens of selfishness and sin.

On the other hand, however, think about what a crown represents. Royalty. Glory. Honor. Prestige. Influence. So a man who marries an excellent wife will be marked by her excellence.

A wife of good character will make her husband feel like a king. She will not only lift him up and make him feel important both to her and the home, but she also has good character herself, which means she will represent him and the family well in the public eye. All of this brings tremendous honor to his name.

An excellent wife doesn’t bring shame to her husband in any way, especially with her words. She also knows how her words can bring him down and deeply hurt their relationship and therefore uses words of affirmation to build up her husband. The same principle holds true for a husband’s words to his wife! Words themselves either encourage excellence or shame.

This is what the Bible calls an “excellent wife.” She is beyond reproach. The kind of wife a husband is so proud to be married to. I have such a wife and am indeed a very blessed man.