Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 22:6, Grow them with the Grain

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6 AMPC

Proverbs 22:6 became one of my “go to” parenting principles. I discovered early on that one of the best things I could do for my children was to study them. What delighted them? How did they best learn? Proverbs 22:6 reveals that every child has a “way” or path he or she should go. This path will vary according to their God-given gifts, talents, and temperament.

For example, education should be a delight, not drudgery, and yet for many children, learning is a source of pain and confusion. What works for one child doesn’t for another. One of the most exciting parts of mothering for me was to watch the amazing characteristics that began to emerge in each child.

Ours are now grown with children of their own. But their “gifts and bent,” as described in Proverbs 22:6, were apparent from an early age. Bethany had amazing people skills, a grasp of languages, and a love for learning. DB was a strategic thinker, good with math, and was shooting trash through lampshades at two, giving clues about his love for basketball. Michael was my hands-on learner; thus, he enjoyed a few years of Montessori school. Swimming became his thing and opened doors to college and beyond. Each child was created uniquely by God to fulfill a purpose. Part of the adventure in parenting was helping them discover and develop their gifts.

But what about the parent who may lack resources? Maybe you are a single mom living on the edge of poverty. Is there any hope for your child? Does God have a destiny for all children?

In Hebrews 11:23, we find these words about a couple of Hebrew peasants: “By faith, Moses’ parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was a beautiful child and they were not afraid of the king’s edict.” Pharaoh had begun an extermination of the Jews beginning with the murder of all baby boys at birth. Yet Moses’ parents defied the edict upon threat of their own death. They saw a “gift” or “bent” in Moses that no one else could see.

The Greek word, asteios, translated “beautiful,” is used only one time in the entire New Testament and only to describe Moses. It means “lovely, beautiful, elegant, artistic” and describes one who dwelled in the city and thus was well-bred, cultivated, and sophisticated. How could two rural, Hebrew peasant slaves see this kind of “beauty” in a baby they held in their arms for just three months?

I wonder if we as parents are enabled in some special way to see “into” the character and destiny of our children in ways that others might not? We can certainly pray for them. See the beauty in them. Believe in them even when they don’t believe in themselves. We can look around and see the beauty in other children, too.