How to Honor Your Husband: If You Want to Be Strong, Abide

by Marilynn Chadwick

A young mom once asked me if there was anything I’d do differently if I were just starting out in my marriage. After giving it some thought, I responded that I’d be even more intentional about abiding in Christ. I’ve come to believe that abiding—developing an ongoing connection with the Lord—is the secret to lasting strength in marriage.

A while back, my husband David made a comment that got me thinking. “I really like it that you’re not needy,” he said. “I can tell you’re not looking to me for your identity.” He went on to say, “Because of your relationship with the Lord, you come to our marriage with a full cup. I know you’re not going to drain me dry.” I’m intrigued that his comment sticks out in my mind all these years later.

I’ve thought further about what he said. David knows my weaknesses better than anyone. He has walked me through more fears and more tears than I can count. And yet, he still considers me strong. Perhaps he sees strength in me that I don’t even see in myself. The strength that comes from my relationship with Jesus.

Abiding in Christ is not some magic pill you swallow and then, “Bam, you’re in!” No, it’s a daily process carved out with one foot in front of the other. Even on days I don’t feel like it. Especially on days when I don’t feel like it.

Let’s remember. Everything God created was good. But he looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Something was missing. So God said: "I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18 NIV).

I’ve come to believe that in a very real way, the call to be a strong helper, or ezer, in my marriage is a call to a daily walk with Christ. It’s saying yes when Jesus calls to me to follow him. Yes to honoring my husband. And yes to abiding.

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick’s book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!