Kindness Under Fire: Teaching Kindness

by Marilynn Chadwick

Kindness actually makes people happier. Such were the findings of a Stanford University study. Subjects who did five kind actions each week were happier than those who did not. And those who performed five acts every day were the happiest of all. The study found that happiness is greater when the acts of kindness are directed toward those we know as opposed to strangers. I guess you could say kindness, like charity, begins at home.

The Proverbs 31 woman of valor instructed others. I like the way the International Children’s Bible puts it: “She teaches others to be kind” (Prov. 31:26 ICB). I would like to think her teaching about kindness started at home by teaching her own children to be kind.

I believe kindness is the solution to bullying and other aggressive behaviors. Children, and even adults, may not see clearly the dangers of bullying. Some don’t even understand its definition. With our own children, I found it helped to explain bullying to them.

I think we should protect all children of all ages from bullying. Bullies don’t fight fair. In my mind, two against one is bullying. Older against younger is bullying—especially if that older one is an adult. And an adult can sometimes bully a child. If a more powerful person is picking on a weaker one, it’s always bullying.

I wanted our children to learn how to fight their own battles—especially when evenly matched. But I encouraged them to tell us if they were bullied. And if I ever caught them bullying someone else—well, let’s just say they caught the wrath of mom!

The Bible tells us to defend the weak (Psalm 82:3,4). So we can teach kindness to our children by exploring ways they can come to their aid when someone younger, or weaker, or outnumbered is being bullied. I’m reminded of some Texas school children who discovered that by forming a “swarm” around the child being bullied, they could get the bully to leave.

Teaching our kids about kindness helps bully-proof them. We want to stop them from bullying or being bullied. And by encouraging them to stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves, we are creating a kinder culture.