Lessons from My 98-year-old Dad: Honor Your Wedding Vows

by Marilynn Chadwick

“Let marriage be held in honor among all…”

Hebrews 13:4a

When people meet my 98-year-old dad, they often ask me, “What’s his secret?” “How does he look so young and stay so sharp?” Daddy would be the first to tell you that part of his secret is that he had a great wife. When my mom went home to be with the Lord three years ago, she and my dad had been married just shy of 70 years.

My mother was bedridden for the last ten of those years. A ruptured appendix and complications from subsequent surgeries robbed the once robust grandmother of her ability to walk. Some of her ability to think and talk also faded. But enough of her brilliant mind remained, so that conversation was possible, though difficult. Daddy insisted upon caring for her at home with the help of nurses’ aides to help him with wheelchair transfers and daily care.

If you asked them, Mom and Dad would each say they “married up.” Mom would always tell us three girls how lucky she was to find Daddy. And Dad said he was just glad his “turn in line” with the other young men who wanted to date Mom finally came. To which Mom would answer back, “Well I was hoping you would ask me out!” One afternoon, near the end of her life, Daddy looked at my mom, lying in the bed after he had just brushed her hair, and said to me, “Doesn’t she look pretty?”

Few can imagine the daunting challenges Mom and Dad faced on a daily basis just so she could live at home. Daddy did the grocery shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry. There were medical procedures he performed each day. Catheters, baths, diapers. There were occasional trips to the emergency room and hospitalization because of infections.

In good times and in hard times, Mom and Dad honored their wedding vows. That, just by itself, is a beautiful legacy which they passed on to David and me, to our children, and their children. But there is so much more.

Sometimes when we’re in the middle of daily life, we don’t realize the truly heroic nature of the people right in front of us. It all seems so normal at the time. As I reflect, I feel enormous gratitude for my parents’ sacrifices that paved the way for the life I have today. And especially for my faith, my family, and my freedom.

Daddy and I are working together to collect and preserve these and other memories. We’re also including important life lessons he learned as a World War II era submarine sailor. My dad especially wants to pass on this legacy to his great grandchildren, and as he puts it, “anyone else who will listen.” So, over the next two weeks, I’ll be sharing life lessons I’ve learned from my dad.

For more inspiration and to learn about honor within marriage, click here to download a free copy of

Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick and

Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick.