Our Favorite Proverbs: Proverbs 3:11-12, Love and Limits

by Marilynn Chadwick

“My son do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”

Proverbs 3:11-12 NIV

Children are generally asking two questions: “Do you love me?” and “Can I have my own way?” They seem to thrive on love and limits. So as parents we would say, “Yes, I love you, and “No, you can’t always have your own way.”

Focused attention, eye contact, lots of snuggles, a listening ear. There are many ways to say I love you. Unconditional love is a vital ingredient of a healthy home. But limits are important too. Limits provide a sense of security.

Here’s a little secret: If it’s necessary to correct your children, give them consequences that are actually beneficial to them. For example, an early bedtime, cleaning the bathroom, finishing a book instead of watching television, doing 50 jumping jacks to get the wiggles out. You get the point.

I also learned as the kids reached middle school to go easier on eye contact. Don’t bear down too hard in serious conversations. That’s probably why our best talks—especially the hard ones—happened while driving in the car. They’d tell me most anything I wanted to know if I didn’t intrude. Conversations in the van often turned into spiritual life lessons—I dubbed our drive time “e-van-gelism.”

Faith is both caught and taught. I encouraged our kids to be on the lookout for signs of God at work—in big ways and small ones. We dared our kids to dream big and trust God with the results. But mostly, I wanted them to be able to hear God for themselves—to discern his voice from all the others. They didn’t know it, but I continually watched to see if they were shaping their views according to what they were learning at home or what the world was telling them.

It really doesn’t matter where I travel. It’s the same in any culture—rich or poor. We can never underestimate the power of a strong and loving home. Home is where humans thrive and grow best. It’s where children should be nurtured. Instructed. Protected. It’s where they catch the faith. And where they’re free to dream. Especially when the home is built on the solid rock of faith in Jesus Christ.

When a home is filled with the grace of unconditional love and the framework of strong limits, and when parents seek the Lord with all their whole heart, a home can produce children who are likely to change the world.